


This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

by Acequisitor



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Humor, Hunk loves drama, I suck at tagging and I think that's about it so, I was procrastinating, It gets better tho I swear, JOKES ON ME, Multi, To think this started as a joke, You're Welcome, and decided to make a fic, enjoy, fuck it, same tbh, snippets of story, text fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-09-15 22:57:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 23,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9261842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acequisitor/pseuds/Acequisitor
Summary: Wine Aunt: Oh shitHunkin' Donuts: Great googly mooglySpace Dad™: Well that's enough for todayNigel Cornberry: I leave for 20 minutes and this is what I come back to?Nigel Cornberry: Can you kids relax for just one minute?





	1. Cats??? Totally Worth Dying Over!

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is really just for fun and I might make more, so enjoy!
> 
> Winner of the Universe™: Lance  
> Rover One: Pidge  
> Mothman is Real: Keith (obv)  
> Space Explorer™/Space Dad™: Shiro  
> Hunkin' Donuts: Hunk  
> Wine Aunt: Allura  
> Nigel Cornberry: Coran

* * *

**_[2:36:10 PM]Winner of the Universe™ to - > What the Hap is Fuckenig_ **

**Winner of the Universe™:** U GUYS gueSS WHAT

 **Mothman is Real:** You finally found your lost dignity?

 **Rover One:** You finally died?

 **Space Explorer™:** You passed a cute girl?

 **Wine Aunt:** You got punched by a girl you tried to flirt with

 **Wine Aunt:** _again_

 **Nigel Cornberry:** You finally stamped out your coffee card?

 **Winner of the Universe™:** _Rude_  
**Winner of the Universe™:** you already know don’t spoil it, Pidgeon  
**Winner of the Universe™:** yes  
**Winner of the Universe™:** not this time  
**Winner of the Universe™:** and I did, actually  
**Winner of the Universe™:** Thx for not being _RUDE_ Coran

 **Nigel Cornberry:** Of course, my boy

 **Mothman is Real:** Pidge knows why?

 **Rover One:** I know everything

 **Mothman is Real:** Okay, true.

 **Space Explorer™:** What did you do this time, Lance

 **Winner of the Universe™:** Lmao  
**Winner of the Universe™:** _So_  
**Winner of the Universe™:** I'm dying

 **Space Explorer™:** Are you okay?!

  
**Hunkin' Donuts:** What happened??? Do I need to hurry home?!

 **Rover One:** Lance quit being dramatic  
**Rover One:** He's dying b/c he found cats and he's allergic to them

 **Space Explorer™:** LANCE

  
**Winner of the Universe™:** ONLY _MILDLY_  
**Winner of the Universe™:** BUT IT’S FINE  
**Winner of the Universe™:** B/C I LOVE CATS  
**Winner of the Universe™:** AND I HAVE MY ALLERGY MEDICINE

 **Rover One:** BUT THEY DON'T LOVE YOU  
**Rover One:** HE PICKED UP A _WHOLE_ BOX OF CATS WE SAW ON THE STREET  
**Rover One:** AND NOW HE HAS _5_ IN THE APARTMENT

 **Mothman is Real:** He has cats?!  
**Mothman is Real:** If I wasn't in class rn I’d be right over.

 **Wine Aunt:** Lance r u serious

 **Winner of the Universe™:** _No_  
**Winner of the Universe™:** _Maybe_

  
**Wine Aunt:** LANCE

  
**Winner of the Universe™:** u shoulda seen the way they _looked_ at me  
**Winner of the Universe™:** and theres this one w/ cute blue eyes like the stars  
**Winner of the Universe™:** her name is Blue  
**Winner of the Universe™:** She's my fav

 **Mothman is Real:** Who tf names a cat a colour?

 **Winner of the Universe™:** _UM ME???_

 **Mothman is Real:** _Compelling argument..._

 **Rover One:** He literally named them all colours

 **Hunkin' Donuts:** Someone stop him

 **Space Explorer™:** Lance, please stop this

 **Hunkin' Donuts:** Ty dad!

 **Rover One:** da d

 **Winner of the Universe™:** _D A D_

**Mothman is Real: _D A D_**

**Wine Aunt:** _Did he really just_

**_Space Explorer™_ changed his name to _Squad Dad™_**

**Winner of the Universe™:** Squad Dad seems too plain tho

**_Squad Dad™_ changed his name to _Space Dad™_**

**Mothman is Real:** Why ' _Space_ ' dad?

 **Space Dad™** : Because fuck you that's why

 **Rover One:** OH

 **Winner of the Universe™:** SHIT

 **Hunkin' Donuts:** HE

 **Rover One:** JUST

 **Winner of the Universe™:** DID

 **Hunkin' Donuts:** THAT

 **Mothman is Real:** ???  
**Mothman is Real:** What have I ever done to you???  
**Mothman is Real:** I’ve never done anything wrong

 **Winner of the Universe™:** UM RECEIPTS PLS

 **Space Dad™:** You once tried to run me over with a toy jeep while laughing "HAHA! FEEL THE PAIN, SHITO!"

  
**Mothman is Real:** _Anyways_

 **Space Dad™:** When we were smaller, you punched me in the face and slammed my face into a counter b/c “the punch just wasn't enough”  
**Space Dad™:** You gave me _two_ black eyes

 **Mothman is Real:** You're forgetting to mention you called me to the kitchen and made me slip on the floor before that and I hurt my wrist.  
**Mothman is Real:** You’re second example is void.

 **Winner of the Universe™:** Once when we were studyin I asked u to hand me a textbook n u threw me the book

 **Mothman is Real:** Idk how that's in any way rude, Lance.

 **Winner of the Universe™:** You threw it  
**Winner of the Universe™:** _AT MY FACE_

 **Mothman is Real:** I still don't understand how I'm at fault.  
**Mothman is Real:** I’m sure you deserved that, somehow. I’m pretty sure you were too distracted by some girl in the library to catch it.  
**Mothman is Real:** And you got the book, so I don't see how it's an issue.

 **Rover One:** _Jealous much?_

 **Mothman is Real:** Pidge stay out of this. I try to stay on your good side. You have no receipts on me.

 **Rover One:** Sure, Jan

 **Space Dad™:** Keith  
**Space Dad™:** _When will your lies end?_

 **Mothman is Real:** I’m totally being attacked, rn.  
**Mothman is Real:** _Wow_.

 **Wine Aunt:** Do _I_ need to bring up the fact that once you spilt someone’s coffee _on them_ at Starbucks just b/c they got their coffee before you did  
**Wine Aunt:** Then proceeded to say “Shit my bad, man. Sucks to suck.”  
**Wine Aunt:** _The victim was Lance_  
**Wine Aunt:** **_Just last week_**

 **Winner of the Universe™:** _THANK YOU!_

 **Mothman is Real:** It was morning time. Everyone knows I'm not a morning person.  
**Mothman is Real:** Lance knew this when he reached for his coffee before I got mine.  
**Mothman is Real:** Besides, I ordered mine before him.  
**Mothman is Real:** What gave him the right to reviece his coffee before me?

 **Rover One:** Same tho

 **Wine Aunt:** Keith wtf

 **Space Dad™:** I can't believe you're trying to talk yourself out of being a bitter person  
**Space Dad™:** You literally can't win this argument

 **Mothman is Real:** Uh, yes, _I can._  
**Mothman is Real:** This argument is homophobic.  
**Mothman is Real:** _I’m gay and it's inconveniencing me._

 **Winner of the Universe™:** Keith buddy u use proper punctuation 24/7 in texts  
**Winner of the Universe™:** only heathens and bitter people do that

 **Rover One:** Don't blame him for not being lazy like you

 **Winner of the Universe™:** Wow okay _Pidgeotto_  
**Winner of the Universe™:** u once woke me up @ _5 am_ in the morning just to tell me to make the coffee  
**Winner of the Universe™:** b/c ‘ _you were too tired to do it and forgot to do it before you fell asleep_ ’

 **Rover One:** Um rude  
**Rover One:** do you really want me to expose you rn

 **Winner of the Universe™:** Point taken  
**Winner of the Universe™:** Argument withdrawn

 **Mothman is Real:** No, wait, I wanna see this.

 **Rover One:** Pls Keith I'm not exposing his naked body  
**Rover One:** I was about to roast him  
**Rover One:** Chill

 **Mothman is Real:** …

 **Wine Aunt:** Oh shit

 **Hunkin' Donuts:** Great googly moogly

 **Space Dad™:** Well that's enough for today

 **Nigel Cornberry:** I leave for 20 minutes and this is what I come back to?  
**Nigel Cornberry:** Can you kids relax for just one minute?

 **Wine Aunt:** Pidge I think you broke them  
**Wine Aunt:** They're both offline now

 **Rover One:** Ik Lance is  
**Rover One:** he's shit talking to Blue  
**Rover One:** tbh I don't think he saw me expose Keith. What a tragedy.  
**Rover One:** Anyways  
**Rover One:** Y’all should come see the cats

 **Hunkin' Donuts:** I’ll see them when I get home  <3

 **Space Dad™:** I mean if we’re all coming why not have a party? After all it's Friday

 **Wine Aunt:** I’ll bring the alcohol

 **Space Dad™:** Why is that always your first reaction to the word ‘party’

 **Wine Aunt:** Um duh  
**Wine Aunt:** It’s a _party_

 **Nigel Cornberry:** _“It’s not a party until someone spills the nunville.”_  
**Nigel Cornberry:** As my father used to say

 **Rover One:** Coran you're literally a gift to this group

 **Nigel Cornberry:** Thank you!

 **Hunkin' Donuts:** Alright I can stop by the market on the way home, I’ll cook us up a dinner

 **Rover One:** Bless you too, Sunshine child

 **Space Dad™:** Alright, Allura and Coran should I pick you guys up?

 **Nigel Cornberry:** I have something to attend to but I shall arrive later tonight  
**Nigel Cornberry:** Allura you ride with Shiro, he seems a fine fellow and I approve of you driving with him alone

 **Hunkin' Donuts:**  Uh Coran did you just???

 **Rover One:** Lowkeyset up Allura and Shiro???

 **Winner of the Universe™:** OH SHIT WHAT DID I MISS  
**Winner of the Universe™:** Oh wow Coran get it

 **Wine Aunt:** You know what i’ll just wait for Coran to leave and arrive w/ him

 **Rover One:** _Smooth_

 **Winner of the Universe™:** He set u up and everything, princess

 **Space Dad™:** Oh, okay  
**Space Dad™:** Alright then I’ll be over soon

 **Winner of the Universe™:** I’ll unlock the door for you guys  
**Winner of the Universe™:** Um  
**Winner of the Universe™:** Shouldn’t someone invite Keith?  
**Winner of the Universe™:** I’m 99.9% sure he won't scroll up

 **Hunkin' Donuts:** WELL SINCE _YOU_ MENTIONED IT

 **Rover One:** I GUESS ITS _UR_ JOB NOW

 **Winner of the Universe™:** U no wht fuck u guys

 **Rover One:** No thanks

 **Winner of the Universe™:** Damnit Pidge

 

 

**_[3:02:37 PM] Winner of the Universe™ to - > Mothman is Real_ **

**Winner of the Universe™:** Hey man we’re having a squad party  
**Winner of the Universe™:** We were wondering if u wanted to come  
**Winner of the Universe™:** U know, Hunk has to know and stuff  
**Winner of the Universe™:** I see ur online now and U see this  
**Winner of the Universe™:** I’ll hold the cats hostage if u don't come see them

 **Mothman is Real:** Fuck you I'm omw.

 **Winner of the Universe™:** Keith is ur class even over yet?

 **Mothman is Real:** Why do you even care??? I'm coming to see the **cats**???!!!

 **Winner of the Universe™:** b/c I didn't know it was illegal to worry about ur education?

 **Mothman is Real:** Fine.  
**Mothman is Real:** Class gets out in 15 minutes, I'll be straight over after that.

 **Winner of the Universe™:** _Straight_ over?  
**Winner of the Universe™:** Really???  
**Winner of the Universe™:** Since when was anything u did _straight_??? _Hm_???  
**Winner of the Universe™:** Did I miss that memo???  
**Winner of the Universe™:** 3 days ago  
**Winner of the Universe™:** When you had  
**Winner of the Universe™:** ur _filthy_ tongue  
**Winner of the Universe™:** down my fkn throat????

 **Mothman is Real:** Amongst _other_ things.

 **Winner of the Universe™:** LAKFKEBFKSKSKWKFJSJWJWJSJA

 **Mothman is Real:** You _REALLY_ shouldn't call it filthy when yours was doing something else more unspeakable.

 **Winner of the Universe™:** YEAH WELL  
**Winner of the Universe™:** U MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE A POINT

 **Mothman is Real:** But you’re right, _my bad_.  
**Mothman is Real:** I still want to see those cats, though. I expect I’m taking one home tonight?

 **Winner of the Universe™:** r u serious  
**Winner of the Universe™:** that’d be a _lifesaver_  
**Winner of the Universe™** : Ha see what I did there  
**Winner of the Universe™:** B/c I'm a little allergic  
**Winner of the Universe™:** And i’m dying  
**Winner of the Universe™:** And I’ll die faster with 5 cats  
**Winner of the Universe™:** _and_ I hope u aren't going home tonite tho???

 **Winner of the Universe™:** u can't handle ur drinks worth a shit and I'm not letting u go home that way

 **Mothman is Real:** Yes, see that, Lance.  
**Mothman is Real:** And, thanks...

 **Winner of the Universe™:** I got one specifically picked out for u  
**Winner of the Universe™:** her name is Red  
**Winner of the Universe™:** She's fiesty  
**Winner of the Universe™:** Like some other hot head Ik who likes red  
**Winner of the Univeese™:** She luvs me tho so good lucky prying her from my damn leg  
**Winner of the Universe™:** She's clingier than Blue so pls get her off me

 **Mothman is Real:** Same

 **Winner of the Universe™:** whut

 **Mothman is Real:** Like, same with liking red???

 **Winner of the Universe™:** Ik, I just said she was like u  
**Winner of the Universe™:** but fuck, man  
**Winner of the Universe™:** gonna give me a heart attack

 **Mothman is Real:** I mean.  
**Mothman is Real:** Well, I mean.  
**Mothman is Real:** I guess we both like you, too.

_**Winner of the Universe™** found dead in Miami_

**Winner of the Universe™:** Ur literally gonna kill me aren't u???

 **Mothman is Real:** I’m pretty sure that's the cats' jobs?

 **Winner of the Universe™:** Jfc ur right  
**Winner of the Universe™:** Alright see you soon babe

 **Mothman is Real:** Btw

 **Winner of the Universe™:** Yee?

 **Mothman is Real:** Istfg if you let that name slip again while we’re still under the radar I will personally kill you.

 **Winner of the Universe™:** IT WAS ONE TIME

 **Mothman is Real:** To think I was so close to loosing the bet

 **Winner of the Universe™:** ONE  
**Winner of the Universe™:** TIME  
**Winner of the Universe™:** You still owe me $20  
**Winner of the Universe™:**  We both no I'll win the bet fair n square

 **Mothman is Real:** Um, not yet. It hasn't been 2 months, yet???

 **Winner of the Universe™:** YEAH???

 **Mothman is Real:** Uh, yeah. That was your bet timelimit on how long we could keep it hidden.

 **Winner of the Universe™:** AND IT STILL IS  
**Winner of the Universe™:** AND ILL STILL WIN

 **Mothman is Real:** Yeah, okay, Lance.

 

 

**_[3:20:27 PM] Mothman is Real: to - > What the Hap is Fuckenig_ **

**Mothman is Real:** Class just ended, omw now.

 **Hunkin' Donuts:** Same  
**Hunkin' Donuts:** Except I just left the market. Not class.

 **Rover One:** cool cool  
**Rover One:** The door’s unlocked

 **Winner of the Universe™:** Gotcha  
**Winner of the Universe™:** Be safe! <3

 **Hunkin’ Donuts:** Thx! <3

 **Mothman is Real:** Lance stfu of course I'm gonna be safe I'm one of the best drivers in the group.

 **Winner of the Universe™:** Or so u claim  
**Winner of the Universe™:** I’m still better

 **Hunkin' Donuts:** Um?

 **Winner of the Universe™:** that was only meant to u hunky bear

 **Hunkin' Donuts:** Okay then yeah thx <3

 **Winner of the Universe™:** <3

 **Rover One:** Ew, stop or I'm gonna catch your bromance germs

 **Winner of the Universe™:** u no u love it

 **Rover One:** _Debatable_

 

 

**_[3:23:04 PM] Mothman is Real to - > Winner of the Universe™_ **

**Mothman is Real:** Are you fucking kidding me?!

 **Winner of the Universe™:** Yeah  
**Winner of the Universe™:** _well_  
**Winner of the Universe™:** they still didn't notice and I'm winning hAHAHA  
**Winner of the Universe™:** Don't go getting your briefs in a twist

  
**Mothman is Real:** Why are you like this???

 **Winner of the Universe™:** Idk why but Ik u like whatever ‘this’ is like  
**Winner of the Universe™:** so I think to myself  
**Winner of the Universe™:** _why change now?_

 **Mothman is Real:** Whatever. Getting in my car be there soon.

 

 

 


	2. Cute Cats and Cheese

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance has a fashion emergency and the group debates which cat is by far the cutest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't bold every damn name... Too much work...

**_[11:29:18 AM] Winner of the Universe™ to - > “Every Once in a Blowjob_**”

Winner of the Universe™: U GUYS QUICK HELP

Wine Aunt: What happened to the chat name

Rover One: Shiro’s phone made a perfect sentence  
Rover One: “ _[8:40:12 PM] Space Dad™: When I was typing blue moon slide type turned it into blow job_ ”

Wine Aunt: I have so many questions

Winner of the Universe™: R WE JUST GOING TO IGNORE MY CRY FOR HELP????

Rover One: You overreact all the time  
Rover One: How is this any different

Winner of the Universe™: THIS IS A FASHION EMERGENCY

Wine Aunt: OMG what happened

Mothman is Real: Oh, great. Just what I want to talk about on my break time.

Winner of the Universe™: 1) no one asked you for help Keith  
Winner of the Universe™: 2) I shook a V8 up n now it's everywhere n in my lap!!!

Mothman is Real: NVM. CONTINUE.

Wine Aunt: Priorities at its finest

Winner of the Universe™: THIS IS SERIOUS HELP

Rover One: Ummmmmmm

Winner of the Universe™: SOMEONE PLS

Rover One: Okay but why did you shake it?

Mothman is Real: Pidge, you heathen all the good stuff is always at the bottom.  
Mothman is Real: You have to shake it!

Rover One: no but like  
Rover One: Keith you don't understand  
Rover One: he got some v8s on sale yesterday  
Rover One: I thought they were carbonated

Winner of the Universe™: WHAT  
Winner of the Universe™: EXCUSE ME THIS IS NEW TO ME

Wine Aunt: Oh my god lance did u not read the label?

Winner of the Universe™: WHAT NO  
Winner of the Universe™: V8S ARENT CARBONATED WHATS THIS LIE

Hunkin' Donuts: Was there somewhere on the bottle that said do not shake?

Winner of the Universe™: Finally someone I can actually speak to  
Winner of the Universe™: NO IDK  
Winner of the Universe™: THERES THIS HUGE PRICE TAG ON IT  
Winner of the Universe™: MAYBE?

Hunkin' Donuts: Alright tell you what I'll stop by the house and get new clothes you just stay where you are

Winner of the Universe™: IM IN PUBLIC

Hunkin' Donuts: Use your coat to cover the mess and head to a bathroom?

Winner of the Universe™: Thx Hunk ur so smart  
Winner of the Universe™: Luv u bro

Hunkin' Donuts: Np send me your location and I'll be there ASAP

Mothman is Real: Um, well then.

Rover One: same  
Rover One: Lance try to peal off the price tag and tell me what it says or taste it

Winner of the Universe™: Ugh wait a sec  
Winner of the Universe™: Fuck

Wine Aunt: And there it is

Mothman is Real: The moment of realisation.

Rover One: The moment of truth  
Rover One: Its on the can isn't it?

Winner of the Universe™: Fuck u guys

Wine Aunt: No thanks

Rover One: No thanks

Mothman is Real: No thanks, that's gay.

Winner of the Universe™: It says “carbonated” in fancy letters  
Winner of the Universe™: WHO PUTS A LABEL OVER SOMETNING SO JMPORTANT

Rover One: _SOMETNING SO JMPORTANT_

Hunkin' Donuts: _SOMETNING SO JMPORTANT_

Wine Aunt: _SOMETNING SO JMPORTANT_

Mothman is Real: _SOMETNING SO JMPORTANT_

Winner of the Universe™: Wow I came here for help and honestly I feel so attacked rn

Mothman is Real: Well you're the one who typo’s. Not my problem. Just a flaw of yours that I can exploit for my own enjoyment.

Hunkin’ Donuts: That's evil dude

Mothman is Real: As funny as this is, my breaks over. See you guys later.

Rover One: Is it that time already???  
Rover One: Shit I got class brb

Wine Aunt: Run, my dear child  
Wine Aunt: _Run_

Hunkin' Donuts: Well I dropped the clothes off so my job here is done, I've gotta go back and feed the cats

Wine Aunt: How are they?

Hunkin' Donuts: Easier to take care of since it's only 4, but it's still quite the amount of work

Winner of the Universe™: Yes only 4  
Winner of the Universe™: RIP Red  
Winner of the Universe™: I don't even wanna know how Keith is treating her

Wine Aunt: Nice can I come see them later? I’ll bring Coran  
Wine Aunt: He seems fond of them more than I do  
Wine Aunt: I can ask Shiro too

Hunkin' Donuts: Yeah sure I’ll clean the house up

Winner of the Universe™: I’ll help when I get home

Hunkin' Donuts: Alright see you guys later

 

**_[5:45:09 PM] Winner of the Universe™ to - > Mothman is Real_ **

Winner of the Universe™: Hows my cat?

Mothman is Real: Excuse me?

Winner of the Universe™: How?  
Winner of the Universe™: Is?  
Winner of the Universe™: My?  
Winner of the Universe™: Cat????

Mothman is Real: I don't have Blue?  
Mothman is Real: Is she not at your house with you?  
Mothman is Real: Is Blue missing? For how long do you think? There can still be time to find her. When was the last time you guys opened your doors?

Winner of the Universe™: _Woah woah woah_  
Winner of the Universe™: Chill  
Winner of the Universe™: I’m asking how Red is

Mothman is Real: SHE ISN'T _YOUR_ CAT!  
Mothman is Real: Jesus, Lance, you scared the shit out of me.  
Mothman is Real: She’s fine. I got a red bandana and leash for her at work today, and took her on a walk after I got home. She’s enjoying herself.

Winner of the Universe™: U take Red on walks  
Winner of the Universe™: U take a cat  
Winner of the Universe™: On walks  
Winner of the Universe™: Outside

Mothman is Real: Yes, was I not clear?

 

  
**_[6:02:43 PM] Winner of the Universe™ to - > “Every Once in a Blowjob”_ **

Winner of the Universe™: R u supposed to take cats on walks

Mothman is Real: Are you fucking kidding me?

Space Dad™: Depends  
Space Dad™: Some like it, especially outdoor cats

Winner of the Universe™: Outdoor cats r a thing???  
Winner of the Universe™: How do they stay safe???

Rover One: Cats don't have your brain  
Rover One: that's how

Winner of the Universe™: _RUDE_

Nigel Cornberry: I believe it relies purely on the cat’s instincts and behaviour.  
Nigel Cornberry: Also their ability to adapt, etc.

Winner of the Universe™: Ty Coran

Nigel Cornberry: Of course!

Mothman is Real: Lance is confused b/c I told him I took Red out for a walk.

Wine Aunt: Aw! Did you?!  
Wine Aunt: How did she like it?!

Mothman is Real: She loved it, actually. She loved chasing the butterflies and bugs. It was so cute.

Winner of the Universe™: Shes not as cute as Blue

Mothman is Real: _Debatable._

Rover One: Idk why you guys are fighting over which is cuter  
Rover One: The cutest is obviously Green

Mothman is Real: This is no longer debatable.  
Mothman is Real: Red is by law the cutest, and no other cat measures up to her. Fight me.

Winner of the Universe™: MAYBE I WILL???

Nigel Cornberry: Are you both not in a constant state of fighting?

Rover One: But like consider this  
Rover One: When I was on my laptop she plopped down next to me in front of the vent and just purred while she napped

Hunkin' Donuts: Yellow helps me cook food sometimes  
Hunkin' Donuts: and sometimes she just sits on the counter and watches it's so cute

Mothman is Real: _Maybe_ Yellow is as cute as Red.  
Mothman is Real: Red likes to jump me, jump off my chest, and make my plates fall. So cute!

Rover One: Keith I don't think that's supposed to be cute  
Rover One: I'm 70% sure she's either asserting her dominance or just hates you

Mothman is Real: She’s just playing with me!

Winner of the Universe™: u call that _playing_?

Mothman is Real: Yes, because it's fun and cute.

Rover One: This is starting to sound… familiar  
Rover One: So you find the fact Red fights and teases you fun?

Mothman is Real: Um, yeah. She's literally the cutest thing ever. She likes to cuddle, too.

Rover One: Interesting.  
Rover One: Red sounds _vaguely_ familiar to a local meme we all know and hate

Mothman is Real: Stop.

Rover One: Make me

Mothman is Real: Just stop.

Space Dad™: What about Black?

Winner of the Universe™: Shes no fun  
Winner of the Universe™: Green m Blue were playing n she came and stopped them  
Winner of the Universe™: And both just walked away sad

Space Dad™: Maybe they were just roughhousing too much?

Mothman is Real: _Of course_ you seem to relate to her.  
Mothman is Real: You’re no fun either.

Wine Aunt: OHHHHHHHHH

Nigel Cornberry: In the least, I'm sure they would get along well.

Wine Aunt: They both take charge, too  
Wine Aunt: Petition to give Black to Shiro, all for say I

Winner of the Universe™: Isnt it ‘say aye’

Rover One: it's actually  
Rover One: ‘shut the fuck up lance just go with it already’  
Rover One: I

Mothman is Real: I

Hunkin' Donuts: I

Winner of the Universe™: I

Nigel Cornberry: I

Space Dad™: You all know I rarely have time to care for a cat

Mothman is Real: I can partake in raising her if you want.  
Mothman is Real: Red gets lonely.

Winner of the Universe™: Well Keith is no fun either  
Winner of the Universe™: Maybe Black will like u too

Mothman is Real: I also had a lack of parental care in my life. So if Shiro does take her in we'll have more in common!

Rover One: Wow you're gonna go there?

Wine Aunt: KEITH

Winner of the Universe™: Wow can you tone down those whole orphan jokes  
Winner of the Universe™: I can never tell when you're honestly sad about something or just litreally joking 

Mothman is Real: I'm just not fake and afraid about who I am.

Hunkin' Donuts: Oh my goodness

Rover One: Here we go!

Winner of the Universe™: excuse me  
Winner of the Universe™: no  
Winner of the Universe™: no U no what  
Winner of the Universe™: brb

Rover One: Keith he just walked out the door I think he's comin for u

Mothman is Real: Let him. _I dare him to._

 

**_[6:13:51 PM] Winner of the Universe™ to - > Mothman is Real_ **

Winner of the Universe™:u dare me to?

Winner of the Universe™:Just u wait  
Winner of the Universe™: Im omw

Mothman is Real: Is that supposed to be a threat or comforting?

Winner of the Universe™: Idk I've got mixed feelings rn  
Winner of the Universe™: Oh but BOI just u wait til I get there

Mothman is Real: What? You gonna show me how ‘ _not fake you are_ ’?

Winner of the Universe™: See I thought that was too cheesy so I was going more for a “I'm gonna comfort u and show u how much ur actually loved u damn orphan”  
Winner of the Universe™: but then I realised

Mothman is Real: I don't know if that's even more cheesier or just plain cute

Winner of the Universe™: the cheese was supposed to be baked slowly at a low temperature  
Winner of the Universe™: but then when I look at it to check to make sure it wasn't burning  
Winner of the Universe™: the cheese had somehow doubled and almost started to melt over  
Winner of the Universe™: so it just came out like that

Mothman is Real: Ugh. Just shut up and get here already. You're so slow.

Winner of the Universe™: right  
Winner of the Universe™: idk if that was an intentional challenge on my speed  
Winner of the Universe™: _but_

Mothman is Real: _Lance_

Winner of the Universe™: right

 

**_[6:31:42 PM] Space Dad™ to - > “Every Once in a Blowjob”_ **

Space Dad™: So is this a yes or no to you helping me take care of Black  
Space Dad™: if I do or don't take her under my wing

Mothman is Real: Of course I would.

Space Dad™: Okay, well, I can go out and buy cat stuff tonight  
Space Dad™: Pidge, Hunk  
Space Dad™: When would be a good time to pick her up tomorrow?

Rover One: Um I have class in the morning so not then

Hunkin' Donuts: I’ll be studying with Shay tomorrow night so not then

Nigel Cornberry: Oh how wonderful. It's nice to see you getting along with her, Hunk. Treat her well.

Rover One: Sounds like you're giving your daughter away

Nigel Cornberry: I’m not  
Nigel Cornberry: Not yet

_Nigel Cornberry_ _looks at Wine Aunt_

Wine Aunt: Oh my god I can't believe this  
Wine Aunt: _LET ME LIVE_  
Wine Aunt: UR NOT EVEN MY DAD

Nigel Cornberry: I’m at least your Uncle, Allura.

Rover One: I can't wait to see Coran walk Allura down the aisle

Nigel Cornberry: It would be my honour to.

Wine Aunt: _Anyways_

Hunkin' Donuts: Anyone hear from Lance? It's been about 15 minutes

Space Dad™: Worried?

Hunkin' Donuts: A little

Rover One: Don’t be, Keith isn't online rn either  
Rover One: They're fine

Hunkin' Donuts: You just _assume_ he’s with Keith?

Rover One: I don’t  
Rover One: I _know_ he's with Keith  
Rover One: Probably proving something I'm sure after that whole fake comment

Wine Aunt: _proving he isn't fake_  
Wine Aunt: *side eyes emoji*

Rover One: Did you seriously jus spell that out?

Wine Aunt: … Yeah

Hunkin' Donuts: Right, okay  
Hunkin' Donuts: I'll be home in a sec btw class just got out

Wine Aunt: Is now an okay time to come over?  
Wine Aunt: I wanna see the cats now

Rover One: Yeah sure

Hunkin' Donuts: WAIT I WANNA CLEAN UP MORE

Wine Aunt: too late  
Wine Aunt: me and Coran are on our way

Space Dad™: Also what time tomorrow?

Rover One: Try around 11  
Rover One: Lance will be home  
Rover One: *should

Space Dad™: Alright see you guys tomorrow then

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith part-times at a pet shop, it's too late to change it I can't go back. I mean I could, but I don't feel like it.
> 
> Next chapter may or may not have... Dialogue. For plot reasons. RIP Shiro.
> 
> Tbh, the chat name and V8 disaster are real events... Sadly.
> 
> Heads up: I'm just naming the chat names after all the old chat names from my Skype chatroom w/ friends. So enjoy that.


	3. Treat My Daughter Well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lovable parents of cats talk about their kids and Lance makes a deal w/ the devil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy a little bit of dialogue

It was a good morning for Lance. He was laying on his back, an arm around his waist, and a head numbing his arm, slowly. He didn't need to feel it, though, he was too tired and too comfortable to move at the moment.

He'd been up for about 10 minutes, just laying there. Hoping his partner would wake up eventually. Hopefully.

Not even 15 minutes passed before a phone started blaring the Imperial March and Lance jumped to sit up, yanking his arm from underneath Keith’s head and he groaned at the sudden movement.

“What is that?” Keith growled as he curled around Lance’s waist.

“Phone,” Lance answered and reached for his phone on the bedside table. “Shiro.”

“Why is Shiro’s ringtone the Imperial March, Lance?” sighed Keith.

“Your brother can be a very convincing, powerful man who could bend anyone to his will, man.”

“Point taken.”

Lance answered the phone, as it reached the final time of the ringtone, “Yeah? Whadda you want this early in the morning, Shiro?”

“Lance it's 11 in the afternoon,” came Shiro from the other end of the phone.

“Yeah, sure, last time I checked it was 11 am. You know. At morning? It's morning time, Shiro.”

“Lance that's not what that stands-” Shiro sighed, “I’m here at the apartment. Here to get Black.”

“I hope you know I just woke up,” Lance groaned, standing out of bed and grabbing for some boxers on the ground. “Give me a sec.”

After a few seconds of getting on the underwear and a balance battle of putting them on with one hand to keep the other on the phone.

“Alright I'm coming,” he finally said and made his way to the door of the apartment to open it. “Shiro, you're not here. What gives? Is this some kind of a joke?”

“Lance I'm standing in front of your apartment door, you haven't opened or unlocked it. Where are you?”

“Um, home?”

“Lance.”

“Ugh, one sec I just woke up!” Lance rubble his eyes and took in his surroundings for a minute. “Shit.”

A sigh came from the other end of the phone. “You're with Keith, aren't you?”

Lance exhaled deeply before answering. “Shiro, I’ve been with him for a month and a half and _thats_ your reaction to figuring this out?”

Silence passed before Lance shut the door and just came to terms with what he said. Shit it was too early for talking to others.

“HAHA! Just kidding! Got you good didn't I?!” he nervously chuckled. An angry, ‘Are you fucking kidding me’ could be heard from Keith’s bedroom. “But yeah, I ended up crashing on his couch last night.”

“Lance now isn't the time for jokes,” Shiro said, in that ‘I'm not angry I'm just disappointed’ tone. “Look, let me know when you get home, I'll stop by then. Next time try and read the group chat.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he answered and hung up. Keith made his way out of his room and glared at Lance.

“How is it you're always so close to owing me $20 but then you make up some bullshit, obvious excuse and people just believe you.”

“Keith, I'm literally a living joke. People get used to it after awhile. Besides, why would I let you win this bet. I'm gonna win it.”

Keith face palmed himself and shook his head. “Right,” he simply said and Red came running from the kitchen with desperate meowing.

“Good morning, m’lady,” Lance chuckled and picked her up. “Hey, get ready, we gotta go to my apartment.” Keith nodded and headed back into his room. “Hey can we bring Red?!” he asked.

“Sure, why not. Her leash should be on the table next to the door.”

  
\----

**_[11:45:12 AM] Winner of the Universe™ to - > Space Dad™_ **

Winner of the Universe™: honey I'm home~!

Space Dad™: Alright I'll be there around 12

 

**_[1:34:48 PM] Space Dad™ to - > “These Tears Are Spicy”_ **

Space Dad™: And I'm now the official father of a cute cat  
Space Dad™: about to introduce her to her new part-time home

Rover One: Just now?  
Rover One: Have you been there for 2 and a half hours?

Winner of the Universe™: w e l l

Rover One: Lance omg  
Rover One: What were you doing

Winner of the Universe™: I crashed on Keith’s couch last night

Rover One: Oh  
Rover One: I forgot you told me that

Space Dad™: He told you but neither of you told me? So I could just sit outside the door for 10 minutes waiting for an answer???

Rover One: My bad

Mothman is Real: Hey, asshole.

Winner of the Universe™: Yea bitch?

Mothman is Real: Take care of my cat.  
Mothman is Real: If I come back to pick her up and she is in any way different or hurt…  
Mothman is Real: I will throw you down the stairs.

Winner of the Universe™: Yeah yeah okay

Rover One: Sure Jan

Space Dad™: I’m p sure he's being serious

Winner of the Universe™: No he's just pissy Red wanted to stay with me  
Winner of the Universe™: n not go w/ u two and Black

Mothman is Real: Shut the fuck up.

Winner of the Universe™: Mhm

Mothman is Real: I've never been so betrayed.  
Mothman is Real: At least Black likes me.  
Mothman is Real: Take her out for a walk around 2.  
Mothman is Real: Make sure she stayed hydrated.  
Mothman is Real: Give her the love and attention that she deserves.

Rover One: Wow chill Keith

Mothman is Real: Excuse me?  
Mothman is Real: This is my kid you're talking about.  
Mothman is Real: She needs to be treated like the queen of a lioness that she is.

Winner of the Universe™: She's v prissy  
Winner of the Universe™: So far she's trying to find higher ground so she can look down at the other cats  
Winner of the Universe™: Blue keeps following her around

Mothman is Real: Keep your cat away from my cat.

Rover One: um okay  
Rover One: What's so wrong with Blue?

Mothman is Real: She’s always so attached to Red!  
Mothman is Real: And overly affectionate?!  
Mothman is Real: I don't want Red getting attached to her.

Space Dad™: Idk if that's considerate or jealousy

Winner of the Universe™: Wow just let our cats be gay together

Mothman is Real: I refuse to accept their relationship as her dad.  
Mothman is Real: Any cat of yours isn't worthy of my daughter.

Winner of the Universe™: Why not?  
Winner of the Universe™: That's a bit conceited  
Winner of the Universe™: I could bring Blue over for playdates and everything if she ever gets lonely

Space Dad™: He’s brooding over the idea rn

Mothman is Real: I am not!

_**Space Dad™** sent **HeIs.PNG**_

Mothman is Real: You damned traitor.

Winner of the Universe™: Aw looky u

Mothman is Real: I’m not a cat don't baby talk me

Rover One: _baby_ talk

Winner of the Universe™: Lmao  
Winner of the Universe™: Aw, _baby_

Mothman is Real: Stop!

Winner of the Universe™: But _baby_

Mothman is Real: Ew stop using that name it's making me uncomfortable.

Space Dad™: He's not lying he just got a cold chill up his spine  
Space Dad™: Black is home now  
Space Dad™: she's enjoying the cat bed I got her, too

Rover One: Pics or it didn't happen

_**Space Dad™** sent **MyProudDaughter.PNG**_

Wine Aunt: I’m up!  
Wine Aunt: oh my gosh Black is the cutest

Space Dad™: Allura it's almost 2 in the afternoon  
Space Dad™: Should I be worried?  
Space Dad™: You need to fix your sleeping schedule

Wine Aunt: Ik Ik  
Wine Aunt: Just another late night  
Wine Aunt: Dad’s shop isn't going to run itself

Mothman is Real: I can, you know.  
Mothman is Real: Take it off your hands.  
Mothman is Real: I already work there and I'm 100% okay with owning a pet store and having pets surrounding me 24/7.

Wine Aunt: You understand that's not how it really is right?  
Wine Aunt: There's business aspects to take care of?  
Wine Aunt: And ur still in college?

Mothman is Real: That means nothing.  
Mothman is Real: I’ll be owner in name.  
Mothman is Real: I'll just hire cheap marketers to do my dirty work.

Winner of the Universe™: Good idea  
Winner of the Universe™: b/c it's not like you can actually manage ur own money

Mothman is Real: Bitch, meet me in the pit, I swear to god.

Wine Aunt: Be honest with yourself Keith  
Wine Aunt: There is no room in your life for pets anymore  
Wine Aunt: There's only room for Red  
Wine Aunt: maybe Black

Mothman is Real: Oh shit, you're right…  
Mothman is Real: But the animals…?

Wine Aunt: You already see them all at least once a week  
Wine Aunt: I think Red might get jealous  
Wine Aunt: Maybe that's why she prefers Lance over u

Mothman is Real: !!!

Winner of the Universe™: Oh wow

Rover One: Red gets jealous over Keith spending time with others like Keith gets jealous when she's with others  
Rover One: A match made in heaven  
Rover One: Ur soulmates  
Rover One: Made for eachother

Mothman is Real: Oh my god.  
Mothman is Real: I can't believe this is why Red is mad at me.  
Mothman is Real: Brb I'm going home to shower to wash the heathen's scents off me and picking my baby up.

Rover One: See ya.

Wine Aunt: Bye!

Winner of the Universe™: But then Blue’s gonna be lonely…

Space Dad™: Isn't Green and Yellow there w/ you?

Winner of the Universe™: Yeah but they don't count  
Winner of the Universe™: They're always here

Rover One: Tell that to their faces  
Rover One: You heathen

Winner of the Universe™: I’m sure Blue already has  
Winner of the Universe™: Brb

Rover One: ?

Winner of the Universe™: I just did

Rover One: OMFG YOU FUCKING SAVAGE  
Rover One: MY POOR KITTY I would fight you if I was home rn

  
**_[2:19:39 PM] Wine Aunt to - > Space Dad™_ **

Wine Aunt: Can I come see Black tonight?

Space Dad™: Sure is Coran coming?

Wine Aunt: I’m sure he’d like to but  
Wine Aunt: I was planning on coming alone?  
Wine Aunt: I need to wind down from working all night  
Wine Aunt: Maybe you could help me fix my sleeping schedule?

Space Dad™: oh  
Space Dad™: Um  
Space Dad™: I mean I that's fine  
Space Dad™: Are you coming for dinner?

Wine Aunt: Sure, what are we having?

Space Dad™: Idk what do you want?

Wine Aunt: Whatever I can share with Black  
Wine Aunt: Kitties are picky  
Wine Aunt: Maybe chicken

Space Dad™: Done  
Space Dad™: Alright I'll stop by the store  
Space Dad™: Let me know when you're on your way

Wine Aunt: Hehe  
Wine Aunt: Alright see you then

 

**_[6:53:38 PM] Rover One to - > Winner of the Universe™_ **

Rover One: Are you staying at Keith’s tonight?

Winner of the Universe™: Uh  
Winner of the Universe™: Wasn't planning on it  
Winner of the Universe™: Y

Rover One: Hunk’s gonna be home late tonight  
Rover One: And I'm gonna pick up dinner for myself  
Rover One: Come on now Lance  
Rover One: If you aren't staying over at least buy him dinner

Winner of the Universe™: R u  
Winner of the Universe™: R u trying to be my _wingman_?

Rover One: No  
Rover One: Maybe

Winner of the Universe™: What's in this for you? =_=

Rover One: Honestly?  
Rover One: Okay listen up  
Rover One: I need you to confess to him in like the next……..  
Rover One: 2-3 weeks?  
Rover One: No Sooner  
Rover One: No later

Winner of the Universe™: Oh I see what's going on here  
Winner of the Universe™: lmfao  
Winner of the Universe™: Okay give me 2 weeks  
Winner of the Universe™: Then there’ll be money in for the both of us

Rover One: ?

Winner of the Universe™: Listen in closely  
Winner of the Universe™: I need to to have my back  
Winner of the Universe™: This is something I can't ask Hunk with I luv him but he's a mother hen about happy news and will tell everyone

 

Rover One: Um, an eye for an eye?

Winner of the Universe™: Look  
Winner of the Universe™: I think we can both help eachother here  
Winner of the Universe™: You see  
Winner of the Universe™: Me and Keith are already dating

Rover One: EXCUSE ME?!??  
Rover One: OMG man congrats

Winner of the Universe™: But that's just it  
Winner of the Universe™: We have this bet, too

Rover One: What's up

Winner of the Universe™: He bet I couldn't keep it quiet for 2 months  
Winner of the Universe™: B/c u no  
Winner of the Universe™: I’m a loudmouth

Rover One: Well yea

Winner of the Universe™: We bet $20 and honestly I'm Savin up for somethin  
Winner of the Universe™: So if you help me  
Winner of the Universe™: I can help you  
Winner of the Universe™: I let it slip too often and I need you to  
Winner of the Universe™: cover for me  
Winner of the Universe™: I want to spend more time w/ him  
Winner of the Universe™: w/o it seeming suspicious

Rover One: Oh  
Rover One: I think we can agree to these terms  
Rover One: I've got $40 on the table and tbqh I wanna buy new equipment

Winner of the Universe™: So we have a deal?

Rover One: Deal

Winner of the Universe™: Glad we could come to an agreement

Rover One: Now  
Rover One: About that dinner  
Rover One: Have your plans for tonight changed? I'll tell Hunk you went to hang out w/ Matt

Winner of the Universe™: OMG u would so that?!  
Winner of the Universe™: If Keith asks you were spending the night w/ Matt, too

Rover One: Fair enough

Winner of the Universe™: Ty Pidgeotto  
Winner of the Universe™: Alright I'll see you tomorrow

Rover One: Np np  
Rover One: Go be gay

  
**_[7:09:41 PM] Winner of the Universe™ to - > Mothman is Real_ **

Winner of the Universe™: Guess who has two thumbs  
Winner of the Universe™: And has a sexy night planned w/ their boyfriend???

Mothman is Real: Allura?

Winner of the Universe™: Damnit Keith

Mothman is Real: What's with the change in plans?

Winner of the Universe™: Nothin  
Winner of the Universe™: But I bought some time seeing as Pidge is hangin w/ Matt tonight

Mothman is Real: Nice.  
Mothman is Real: Are you bringing Blue?  
Mothman is Real: Red might miss her…

Winner of the Universe™: Mhm  
Winner of the Universe™: _Red_ misses _Blue hm?_

Mothman is Real: Stfu or I'll lock you out of my apartment tonight.

Winner of the Universe™: Okay, okay  
Winner of the Universe™: I can bring her  
Winner of the Universe™: Light the candles  
Winner of the Universe™: n set the mood  
Winner of the Universe™: it's about to get gay af

Mothman is Real: I’m gonna stop you there.  
Mothman is Real: Me and my proclaimed lesbian daughter both agree that's just beyond gay.  
Mothman is Real: You're walking on thin ice, McClain.

Winner of the Universe™: But

Mothman is Real: Thin.  
Mothman is Real: Ice.  
Mothman is Real: Also have you no safety outlooks.  
Mothman is Real: Fire and cats don't mix.  
Mothman is Real: What if my daughter gets lit on fire?!

Winner of the Universe™: Um  
Winner of the Universe™: Highly doubt that but  
Winner of the Universe™: Hope u like cookin  
Winner of the Universe™: B/C IM NOT

Mothman is Real: Why am I dating you?

Winner of the Universe™: Idk y tbh  
Winner of the Universe™: One of the seven wonders of the world  
Winner of the Universe™: Jk tho I'll help cook  
Winner of the Universe™: What's the lucky ingredients today?  
Winner of the Universe™: AND THE RANDOM FOOD GENERATOR SAYS…?

Mothman is Real: Um  
Mothman is Real: Chicken, soba noodles, and onion?

Winner of the Universe™: Great  
Winner of the Universe™: Got any of that?

Mothman is Real: I’ve got chicken and the noodles, no onion.

Winner of the Universe™: K I'll stop by a store on the way  
Winner of the Universe™: n I’ll bring the spices n shit just don't even worry  
Winner of the Universe™: On our way now

Mothman is Real: Okay, thanks.

Winner of the Universe™: Np babe. What's a date w/o horrible couple cooking.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep so apparently Allura owns the pet shop. Coran obviously helps her w/ the marketing.


	4. Everything's Just Wonderful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura finally changes her name and relationship issues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary of what's about to happen soon-  
> Friend: Oh I want Keith to change his name to _______!  
> Me: Yeah sure  
> Friend: And you know how we do that?  
> Me: Klance fight?! :Dc  
> Friend: NO  
> Me: KLANCE HAS A FIGHT!!!
> 
> I'll ease into it

**_[1:58:36 PM] Wine Aunt to - > “#LetAlluraKillUsAll2k17”_ **

Wine Aunt: You guys  
Wine Aunt: Guess what

Winner of the Universe™: Hm?

Space Dad™: ?

Wine Aunt: I finally found out how to change my name on here!!!!!!!

Nigel Cornberry: Congratulations!

Winner of the Universe™: _It only took 84 years_

Wine Aunt: Stfu Lance  
Wine Aunt: What should I change it to?

Rover One: Well Wine Aunt is a mix of Wine mom and Vodka Aunt  
Rover One: We need to change it up this time

Winner of the Universe™: Lion princess  
Winner of the Universe™: _Lioness_

Rover One: no  
Rover One: that's literally just a female lion

Winner of the Universe™: Well I tried

Mothman is Real: I’m not good with names…

Space Dad™: We know this and we love you

Winner of the Universe™: “we”  
Winner of the Universe™: _Sure Jan_

Mothman is Real: OMG, nobody asked you on that matter.  
Mothman is Real: Focus.

Rover One: OMG do you guys know what this means?

Winner of the Universe™: ?

Mothman is Real: No?

Wine Aunt: You've made up your mind?

Rover One: First we have Wine Aunt…  
Rover One: It’s time for _Vodka mom_

Winner of the Universe™: No space?

Mothman is Real: It's right there in the middle.

Winner of the Universe™: No, like…  
Winner of the Universe™:  _space_ vodka mom

Mothman is Real: Oh.

Rover One: Well

Wine Aunt: Why not…  
Wine Aunt: Wine Space mom?  
Wine Aunt: Or maybe just Space Wine Mom

Rover One: But that's so…  
Rover One: _Momish_

Space Dad™: Is that not the point?

Nigel Cornberry: I thought it was.

Wine Aunt: Welp

_**Wine Aunt** changed their name to **Space Wine Mom**_

Winner of the Universe™: We be poppin biggest bottles tonite when mom having her first username change becomes canon

Mothman is Real: She already did, though.

Winner of the Universe™: …  
Winner of the Universe™: We’ll work on it  
Winner of the Universe™: One day you’ll understand memes

Rover One: _One day_  
Rover One: _When we’re dead, maybe_

Winner of the Universe™: Hey he's making progress  
Winner of the Universe™: **WHAT TEAM?**

Mothman is Real: **WILDCATS**!

Rover One: Oh my GOD!  
Rover One: **HE FINALLY GETS IT**  
Rover One: The day has finally come!!!

Winner of the Universe™: Ikr  
Winner of the Universe™: So proud of this boy

Mothman is Real: Thanks?

Nigel Cornberry: They grow up so fast...

Space Wine Mom: One day they're crawling, the the next they understand iconic references….  
Space Wine Mom: Ah, my kids

 

**_[5:23:19 PM] Mothman is Real to - > Winner of the Universe™_ **

Mothman is Real: Hey are you coming over tonight?  
Mothman is Real: Asking for a friend.  
Mothman is Real: Her name is Red.  
Mothman is Real: So maybe daughter, but friend nonetheless.

Winner of the Universe™: Sorry babe I've gotta study for a test tonite

Mothman is Real: _Study_?

Winner of the Universe™: Shocked me to  
Winner of the Universe™: But this class is hard af

Mothman is Real: No, but like…  
Mothman is Real: _You_ are _studying_?  
Mothman is Real: Don't get me wrong, I love you and your flaw to not really wanting/’needing’ to study, but…  
Mothman is Real: You're actually studying.

Winner of the Universe™: Yep  
Winner of the Universe™: College has a surprise round every corner

Mothman is Real: Alright, well, don't strain yourself.

Winner of the Universe™: U got it

 

**_[9:42:13 AM] Rover One to - > “#LetAlluraKillUsAll2k17”_ **

Rover One: OMG Lance is disgusting you guys

Space Wine Mom: Wow  
Space Wine Mom: This is such mind blowing info

Mothman is Real: Um, you've known him longer than me, and you've just now realised this?

Rover One: I’ve ‘ _allegedly known him longer_ ’  
Rover One: Mhm

Mothman is Real: Fuck off.

Rover One: No, but I mean  
Rover One: I’m restating it again  
Rover One: B/c he's extra disgusting today

Space Wine Mom: Oh my what has he done

Hunkin' Donuts: Oh, oh!  
Hunkin' Donuts: Can I tell this story?

Rover One: Be my guest

Hunkin' Donuts: So yesterday we watched all of the Star Wars

Mothman is Real: _All day?_

Hunkin' Donuts: Yeah

Mothman is Real: **All day?**

Rover One: Yeah, man keep up 

Mothman is Real: Interesting.

Hunkin' Donuts: Anyways  
Hunkin' Donuts: Well actually Pidge and Lance were on their laptops towards the end  
Hunkin' Donuts: but it was a good school free day!

Mothman is Real: _School free?_

Rover One: Amazing right?

Hunkin' Donuts: And so we ordered pizza last night  
Hunkin' Donuts: And last night after the marathon we turned on Bob Ross

Space Wine Mom: God rest his soul

Rover One: Amen

Hunkin' Donuts: And we passed out  
Hunkin' Donuts: But this morning when we got up there was a slice on the floor  
Hunkin' Donuts: And there were at least like 2 cat hairs on it  
Hunkin' Donuts: Lance said _“Oh, well, last slice! Good morning to me!”_  
Hunkin' Donuts: And ate it

Rover One: Right off the ground

Hunkin' Donuts: Ik it was the kitchen floor and not the carpet, BUT STILL

Space Dad™: He is allergic to cats and he's eating cat hair off of pizza?!?!

Rover One: Of course you pop in now

Space Dad™: He needs to be careful  
Space Dad™: I understand he's only mildly allergic but allergies can grow and intensify as you age

Mothman is Real: Thank you, father, for this knowledge.

Space Dad™: Keith I'm being serious

Hunkin' Donuts: We know

Rover One: As I reiterate  
Rover One: Lance is **disgusting**

Hunkin' Donuts: He’s practically a heathen

  
**_[11:02:12 AM] Mothman is Real to - > Winner of the Universe™_ **

Mothman is Real: Do you want to explain to me how, even though I was told ‘ _you were studying’_...  
Mothman is Real: I’m told you were marathoning one of my favourite movie franchises…  
Mothman is Real: Without _me_?

Winner of the Universe™: Oh shit  
Winner of the Universe™: Who told  
Winner of the Universe™: Wait nvm

Mothman is Real: Lance if you just wanted time to spend with your friends, you didn't have to lie and tell me you were studying…

Winner of the Universe™: Ur rite  
Winner of the Universe™: I’m sorry babe  
Winner of the Universe™: We’ve just been spending a lot of time together  
Winner of the Universe™: and I needed a grace period so they didn't get suspicious

Mothman is Real: … Why didn't you just say that?  
Mothman is Real: I mean I know i’m not supposed to be up your ass about everything, and I don't want to be that person in a relationship, but…  
Mothman is Real: I mean.  
Mothman is Real: It was just something simple, Lance.

Winner of the Universe™: Ik Ik ur right  
Winner of the Universe™: I just  
Winner of the Universe™: Idk  
Winner of the Universe™: My bad

Mothman is Real: It's okay…  
Mothman is Real: Just  
Mothman is Real: Nevermind.  
Mothman is Real: See you later I gotta work.

Winner of the Universe™: See ya

  
**_[4:09:54 AM] Rover One to - > “#LetAlluraKillUsAll2k17”_ **

Rover One: Anyone up?

Space Dad™: Pidge it's 4 in the morning  
Space Dad™: What are you doing up

Rover One: _I could say the same_

Space Dad™: I don't have chat notifications off and my phone went off  
Space Dad™: I’m a light sleeper

Rover One: Right I'm sorry  
Rover One: Since you're the only one up can you help me w/ something?

Space Dad™: Always, Pidge  
Space Dad™: What's up?

Rover One: Name me a company  
Rover One: Any one  
Rover One: I can't decide  
Rover One: And I need it for my psychology paper  
Rover One: Maybe due before 12 in the afternoon

Space Dad™: Pidge omg  
Space Dad™: Okay  
Space Dad™: How about Apple?

Rover One: That works perfectly  
Rover One: Thanks dad!

Space Dad™: Anytime, my dear child  
Space Dad™: Try and get some sleep today

Rover One: Will do

  
**_[8:34:38 PM] Mothman is Real to - > Winner of the Universe™_ **

Mothman is Real: Hey, are you home?

Winner of the Universe™: Shit  
Winner of the Universe™: No?  
Winner of the Universe™: Why do you ask?  
Winner of the Universe™: I’m at a Burger King w/ Hunk

Mothman is Real: Long day.  
Mothman is Real: But that's okay.  
Mothman is Real: I’ll head home and crash with Red.

Winner of the Universe™: I can come by later?  
Winner of the Universe™: It might be v late but I can still come

Mothman is Real: Lmao, what are you gonna do at Burger King until it's ‘v late’?  
Mothman is Real: Do I even want to know?  
Mothman is Real: OMG wait is that the one with a playground?!

Winner of the Universe™: Haha nope  
Winner of the Universe™: Do burger kings have playgrounds?

Mothman is Real: Idk…

Winner of the Universe™: Hm I'll have to look that up

Mothman is Real: Anyways don't worry about it.  
Mothman is Real: I’ll be asleep by then, anyways.  
Mothman is Real: And my house is out of the way, I don't wanna bother you.

Winner of the Universe™: When is goin out of the way for you ever a burden?  
Winner of the Universe™: ;3

Mothman is Real: Ah…  
Mothman is Real: Well then.  
Mothman is Real: So… We’ll talk later?

Winner of the Universe™: Yea of course  
Winner of the Universe™: Always babe

Mothman is Real: Thanks.  
Mothman is Real: Alrighty, then.  
Mothman is Real: Enjoy the food.

Winner of the Universe™: I won't enjoy it as much as I enjoy u  
Winner of the Universe™: Well goodnight! <3

Mothman is Real: Night. <3

  
**_[9:37:41 PM] Mothman is Real to - > Hunkin' Donuts_ **

Mothman is Real: Hey, are you guys still at Burger King?  
Mothman is Real: Do you mind picking me up some food?  
Mothman is Real: I’m lowkey hungry and don't wanna bother Lance, rn.  
Mothman is Real: If he asks, I didn't ask for food from you.

Hunkin' Donuts: Uh  
Hunkin' Donuts: I haven't been to Burger King since 2 weeks ago  
Hunkin' Donuts: And Lance is in his room doin something  
Hunkin' Donuts: But if you're really hungry I can go get you some rn  
Hunkin' Donuts: What do ya want?

Mothman is Real: You're not there?  
Mothman is Real: Shit, well.  
Mothman is Real: Um, Nevermind then. If you're not there rn, then its fine.

Hunkin' Donuts: Really?  
Hunkin' Donuts: I could come over and hang out

Mothman is Real: Ah, sure.  
Mothman is Real: Okay, then.

Hunkin' Donuts: Alright lemme know what you want and I'll be over there, soon

Mothman is Real: Gotcha.

  
**_[9:45:31 PM] Hunkin' Donuts to - > Winner of the Universe™_ **

Hunkin' Donuts: Hey I'm stopping by a Burger King  
Hunkin' Donuts: It won't be hot by the time I get back  
Hunkin' Donuts: But did you want something?  
Hunkin' Donuts: You can heat it up later

Winner of the Universe™: Uh  
Winner of the Universe™: Hmmmmmmm  
Winner of the Universe™: Maybe?  
Winner of the Universe™: I’ll get back to you, I'm a little busy rn

Hunkin' Donuts: Yeah no problem I can stop by on the way home, too

Winner of the Universe™: Don't worry I'll answer you back in like 3 minutes  
Winner of the Universe™: Let me finish this up real quick

Hunkin' Donuts: Alrighty bro

  
**_[1:34:29 AM] Mothman is Real to - > Rover One_ **

Mothman is Real: Pidge  
Mothman is Real: Ik you're up rn you always are  
Mothman is Real: Pidgeroni  
Mothman is Real: Pidgester  
Mothman is Real: Pidge Pie

Rover One: Jesus Keith what do you want?

Mothman is Real: Am I not trustworthy?  
Mothman is Real: Do u think I would blof up if you told me tje truth of where you were from time to time  
Mothman is Real: Like when I wanna hang out amd live yoi

Rover One: Uh  
Rover One: Have you been drinking

Mothman is Real: Jurt a little  
Mothman is Real: juuuuuuuust a little  
Mothman is Real: not a lot  
Mothman is Real: Hunk made sure to tell me to hydrate and drink in moderatn before he lef

Rover One: Hey buddy did something happen?  
Rover One: You only drink when you're out with us or when you're pissed  
Rover One: And I'm 90% sure I'm not with you so unless everyone is partyin with you w/o me rn what's up?  
Rover One: Not to mention you're a light weight

Mothman is Real: Just  
Mothman is Real: Idkakssns  
Mothman is Real: *Isfk  
Mothman is Real: Idfk

Rover One: Take your time Keith we’ve got all night to talk

Mothman is Real: You ever date someone and think it cnt get any bettr  
Mothman is Real: But thrn you realis it was only just the honeymoon perid  
Mothman is Real: And think  
Mothman is Real: Well now thyr lyin to me and blowin me off  
Mothman is Real: Maybe they domt like me anymore and don't wanna tell it to my fce  
Mothman is Real: So thery avoiding uou like the plegue  
Mothman is Real: And its scary  
Mothman is Real: B/c you love said persin  
Mothman is Real: Whta if they just don't like you in the sme way  
Mothman is Real: I just hurt  
Mothman is Real: N I'm tired

Rover One: oh my god  
Rover One: you're getting drunk b/c Lance

Mothman is Real: Shhh  
Mothman is Real: We aren't suppose to tell anyome  
Mothman is Real: Kts a secret

Rover One: Is he seriously avoiding you?  
Rover One: I will go talk to him right now if you're sad b/c of him  
Rover One: Hell I'll get Allura and Matt on him

Mothman is Real: nonononomononono  
Mothman is Real: Look it's a secret k?  
Mothman is Real: it's just  
Mothman is Real: He lied to me twicr in the past 2 days  
Mothman is Real: and its ovr simplr shit so if he lies to mw abouf this whatelde is he lyinh aboit  
Mothman is Real: And I'm not trying to pry nd be that persun but like  
Mothman is Real: Im worried he duesnt want to see me anymore

Rover One: Keith  
Rover One: Fool you once, shame on you  
Rover One: Fool you twice, shame on him  
Rover One: If this keeps up you're going to have to confront him  
Rover One: I don't like the idea of you being torn up over someone who isn't treating you like the man you deserve to be treated like  
Rover One: I’m glad you text me tonight and not do some dumb shit like drunk call him or go out or texting Allura or Shiro  
Rover One: B/c they'd surely sit him tf down and have a talk

Mothman is Real: Thank for undersndong Pidgey

Rover One: Np  
Rover One: Lance is a caring and frail boy, I know he wouldn't lie over something major and he's a loyal man  
Rover One: But lying over something that's probably small is just…  
Rover One: petty?

Mothman is Real: Ik but it's dumb  
Mothman is Real: he's dumb

Rover One: Look rn just get some water and lay down  
Rover One: You need rest  
Rover One: We’ll talk about this later when you're sober

Mothman is Real: Ty

Rover One: Of course

  
**_[11:29:08 AM] Mothman is Real to - > Rover One_ **

Mothman is Real: Fuck.  
Mothman is Real: **FJCK**

Rover One: Good morning sunshine

Mothman is Real: **FUCKFUCKFUCKFUXKFUXJ**  
Mothman is Real: God I'm so fucking dumb!  
Mothman is Real: Please, please don't tell anyone about last night!  
Mothman is Real: Lance can't know I was the one who exposed us to you!

Rover One: I’ll embarrass you about getting drunk of course  
Rover One: But that chat we had  
Rover One: I will go down with our conspiracies like a man w/o a word

Mothman is Real: Thanks, Pidge.

Rover One: If you still wanna talk I'm at the cafe chillin

Mothman is Real: Uh, if my hangover doesn't stop me, I'll be over soon…  
Mothman is Real: Give me like 10 minutes to really get up, at least.

Rover One: Well, I'll be here with the free wifi  
Rover One: See ya in a few

 

 


	5. THIS IS FINE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hold onto your britches, kiddos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, boy. 11 days can really change your "I'm doing this for fun" vibe. Here, take some angst!

**_[2:34:28 PM] Nigel Cornberry to - > “Kinkshame Central”_ **

Nigel Cornberry: It’s such a wonderful day outside!  
Nigel Cornberry: You know what would make it even better?

Mothman is Real: Hm?

Nigel Cornberry: If I could see someone’s cat.

Rover One: _Boy, that was subtle_

Mothman is Real: I’m babysitting Black today with Red and I’m taking them both on a walk.  
Mothman is Real: You wanna walk Black?

Nigel Cornberry: My boy!  
Nigel Cornberry: That's just…  
Nigel Cornberry: That would be amazing!  
Nigel Cornberry: You know how to make an old man like me feel special.

Mothman is Real: ‘ _Old_ ’.  
Mothman is Real: Coran you're barely middle-aged...

Rover One: You aren't at the pet store today?  
Rover One: I’m sure one of the pets would love for you to cuddle them in affection.

Nigel Cornberry: Bad idea.  
Nigel Cornberry: I did that once and got too attached.  
Nigel Cornberry: Then it got adopted.

Rover One: Ouch

Nigel Cornberry: Much like some of the ladies back in my days…  
Nigel Cornberry: I feel sorry for all the women I've turned down…  
Nigel Cornberry: Allura will always come first in my life!

Mothman is Real: Well then.

Rover One: That's dedication right there

Mothman is Real: _Anyways_ , are you comin soon or not? I've got the cats on a schedule.

Nigel Cornberry: I’ll be over in 15!

Mothman is Real: Alright, see you then.

  
**_[4:29:12 PM] Mothman is Real to - > “Kinkshame Central”_ **

Mothman is Real: HAHA! CORAN IS TREATING ME TO DINNER B/C I LET HIM SEE THE CATS!  
Mothman is Real: ‘His treat’.

Winner of the Universe™: BUT I THOUGHT I WAS HIS FAV  
Winner of the Universe™: Coran y don't u ever take me out???

Mothman is Real: You’re no one's favourite.

Winner of the Universe™: Um I think ur confusing me w/ u

Rover One: That's a bit harsh  
Rover One: Especially from you

Nigel Cornberry: LANCE THATS A LIE YOU’LL ALWAYS BE MY FAVOURITE!  
Nigel Cornberry: You just never express a desire to go out to eat.

Winner of the Universe™: **HA**!  
Winner of the Universe™: **SUCK IT!**

Mothman is Real: Um, no thanks.  
Mothman is Real: I never made implications to being his favourite, I only bragged about free food.

Winner of the Universe™: Uncle dearest will you take me out, too?

Nigel Cornberry: Of course! Are you free at the moment?

Winner of the Universe™: For you, always

Mothman is Real: **Wtf**

Rover One: Wow no punctuation

Mothman is Real: Not now, Pidge.

Space Dad™: What’s this about a dinner?

Winner of the Universe™: Me Coran n Keith r going out for dinner

Mothman is Real: Oh, let's just invite everyone while we’re at it.

Nigel Cornberry: Fine idea, my boy!

Mothman is Real: Thanks.

Winner of the Universe™: Wait I thought it was just going to be us

Nigel Cornberry: Would anyone else like to enjoy food with us?  
Nigel Cornberry: My treat, of course.

Space Dad™: I get off on a few, I can be there.  
Space Dad™: Is Allura coming?

Nigel Cornberry: She’s busy with the store right now, but I can ask her in a moment.

Rover One: **I’M ALWAYS FREE FOR FREE FOOD**  
Rover One: I’ll hit up Hunk and we can go out as the family we are

Mothman is Real: Wonderful.

Nigel Cornberry: Exhilarating!  
Nigel Cornberry: We’ll be waiting for you all at the usual diner.

Rover One: **WE’LL BE THERE ASAP!**

  
**_[2:16:08 PM] Winner of the Universe™ to - > “Kinkshame Central”_ **

Winner of the Universe™: So!  
Winner of the Universe™: Anyone busy tonight???  
Winner of the Universe™: It's my first night off of adulting all week!  
Winner of the Universe™: I’m free, we can have a party at my place.

Rover One: _Our_ place

Hunkin' Donuts: * _Our place_

Mothman is Real: You're kidding, right?

Winner of the Universe™: No I'm dead serious?

Mothman is Real: You really have _no_ plans tonight?

Winner of the Universe™: Uh, yea Keith thats what I said

Mothman is Real: Nvm.  
Mothman is Real: I have plans tonight.  
Mothman is Real: As I’m sure _someone else_ does.

Rover One: I do, actually  
Rover One: I have a sweet date with the electronics store  
Rover One: I finally got PAID

Hunkin' Donuts: And I got a study date with Shay!  
Hunkin' Donuts: … _And_ her brother  
Hunkin' Donuts: So I'll be home around 7  
Hunkin' Donuts: So does it even count as plans for ‘tonight’?

Mothman is Real: Not entirely what I meant, but still!  
Mothman is Real: Congrats!  
Mothman is Real: Except for you, Hunk. I’m sorry you have to suffer in her brother's eye. Hope you survive!

Hunkin' Donuts: Thanks fam

Winner of the Universe™: Yea congrats Pidgey  
Winner of the Universe™: RIP Hunky bear  
Winner of the Universe™: Alright so I'll just chill tonight  
Winner of the Universe™: Maybe Coran or Allura r free

  
**_[7:52:12 PM] Mothman is Real to - > Winner of the Universe™_ **

Mothman is Real: You’re _really_ doing this, aren't you?

Winner of the Universe™: UH  
Winner of the Universe™: Doing what?  
Winner of the Universe™: We literally haven't talked since this afternoon?  
Winner of the Universe™: Was I supposed to text u or smthin

Mothman is Real: You really forgot?  
Mothman is Real: You're not around the corner waiting to scare me and acting oblivious on purpose?

Winner of the Universe™: I’m not at ur apartment if that's what you're askin

Mothman is Real: oh my fucking God  
Mothman is Real: Is this seriously  
Mothman is Real: My _apartment_?  
Mothman is Real: Why would I be there _RIGHT_? _NOW_?

Winner of the Universe™: Because you're home babysitting Black?

Mothman is Real: **Lance**.

Winner of the Universe™: Keith?

Mothman is Real: We need a break.

Winner of the Universe™: Hell yea we do  
Winner of the Universe™: We’ve been working all week  
Winner of the Universe™: Got something on ur mind u wanna do?  
Winner of the Universe™: I can get to ur house in like 10 minutes of you wanna go out somewhere

Mothman is Real: I don't think you understand, Lance.  
Mothman is Real: We already had plans to go out somewhere.  
Mothman is Real: …  
Mothman is Real: We need to _talk_.

Winner of the Universe™: What about?

Mothman is Real: About a _break_.

Winner of the Universe™: R we not doing that rn?

Mothman is Real: No, Lance  
Mothman is Real: God how are you so unaware

Winner of the Universe™: r u okay?  
Winner of the Universe™: Ur not using ur usual good punctuation

Mothman is Real: NO IM NOT _OKAY_  
Mothman is Real: God just  
Mothman is Real: Fucking understand  
Mothman is Real: Damnit Mothman wouldn't treat me like this. He would get it.

Winner of the Universe™: _Well then maybe you should date him_ lol  
Winner of the Universe™: Look I'll be over in like a few minutes  
Winner of the Universe™: we can talk face to face if u want

Mothman is Real: No I don't!  
Mothman is Real: And honestly I don't think I want to see you face to face rn  
Mothman is Real: You know what just maybe this would help your joking ass understand

_**Mothman is Real** changed their name to **Mothman’s Boyfriend**_

Winner of the Universe™: Uh Keith  
Winner of the Universe™: Keith what's wrong?  
Winner of the Universe™: R u trying to do what I think u r?

Mothman’s Boyfriend: IVE BEEN  
Mothman’s Boyfriend: Gdi  
Mothman’s Boyfriend: Just  
Mothman’s Boyfriend: Lance I’m taking a break from _us_  
Mothman’s Boyfriend: I don't need this right now

Winner of the Universe™: Uh  
Winner of the Universe™: Ur really breaking up with me?

Mothman’s Boyfriend: YES  
Mothman’s Boyfriend: YES I AM  
Mothman’s Boyfriend: IM FUCKING DONE  
Mothman’s Boyfriend: WITH THIS  
Mothman’s Boyfriend: WITH YOU  
Mothman’s Boyfriend: WITH THIS PAST WEEK

Winner of the Universe™: Keith honestly just tell me what's wrong  
Winner of the Universe™: lmao What's with the stick up ur ass just tell me what's got u so pissed

Mothman’s Boyfriend: Lance  
Mothman’s Boyfriend: The STICK UP MY ASS is honestly **YOU** RIGHT NOW

Winner of the Universe™: What did I do???  
Winner of the Universe™: We gotta talk this out communication is key

Mothman’s Boyfriend: Communication wasn't _FUCKING KEY_ when you lied to me _TWICE_ in these past _WEEK_!  
Mothman’s Boyfriend: And you barely have time for me at any point in this week but suddenly you're always free for _Coran?!_ I honest to god wasn't trying to be the 'jealous boyfriend' but idk anymore

Winner of the Universe™: I've got a valid reason for that, Keith

Mothman’s Boyfriend: Why?

Winner of the Universe™: Well I mean I can't exactly say rn

Mothman’s Boyfriend: And there it is  
Mothman’s Boyfriend: That's just **it**  
Mothman’s Boyfriend: And the fucking cherry on top of the sundae is YOU **FORGETTING OUR DATE TODAY**

Winner of the Universe™: Our what?!  
Winner of the Universe™: We had a date tonight?  
Winner of the Universe™: You didn't remind me???

Mothman’s Boyfriend: I DIDNT _THINK_ I NEEDED TO  
Mothman’s Boyfriend: You were the one who planned the WHOLE DAMN DATE!

Winner of the Universe™: Look I've been tired lately and I forgot  
Winner of the Universe™: pls give me a break we can do it this weekend

Mothman’s Boyfriend: Doing what? Up to what you can't _tell_ me you were doing???  
Mothman’s Boyfriend: I’ll give you a break, Lance  
Mothman’s Boyfriend: And it involves this relationship  
Mothman’s Boyfriend: I just  
Mothman’s Boyfriend: I can't do this right now  
Mothman’s Boyfriend: I don't need to be worrying over this shit

Winner of the Universe™: Worrying over this?  
Winner of the Universe™: _this shit?_  
Winner of the Universe™: ‘ _This shit’_ is our relationship, Keith

Mothman’s Boyfriend: I used to think more of it, honestly I did… It wasn't… It was amazing.  
Mothman’s Boyfriend: But you’ve proved me wrong, like you always do. _It's what you're best at, right?_  
Mothman’s Boyfriend: Idk if that's the kind of relationship I want, a stressful one built off distrust.  
Mothman’s Boyfriend: I can't fucking do this.  
Mothman’s Boyfriend: I was waiting where we were supposed to be at our date.  
Mothman’s Boyfriend: But apparently it's cancelled.  
Mothman’s Boyfriend: I don't wanna see you at my house when I get there.  
Mothman’s Boyfriend: Bye, Lance.

Winner of the Universe™: Keith???  
Winner of the Universe™: Keith???????  
Winner of the Universe™: Keith answer me babe???  
Winner of the Universe™: We can work this out  
Winner of the Universe™: I swear  
Winner of the Universe™: I wanna talk   
Winner of the Universe™: Just  
Winner of the Universe™: Answer pls I miss you

**_[9:06:45 PM] Winner of the Universe™ to - > Mothman is Real_ **

Winner of the Universe™: Keith?  
Winner of the Universe™: Can we talk?  
Winner of the Universe™: Please?  
Winner of the Universe™: I don't want this to end please just…. Ik I don't deserve u  
Winner of the Universe™: Please answer me… I don't want to lose u b/c I'm a stupid idiot... Please.

  
\---

A few minutes pass before Lance dropped his phone and trudged out of his room with swollen eyes.

“Lance?” called out a happy Hunk, chuckling on the couch next to Pidge. “Wanna watch- Oh, what happened, man?” Hunk paused.

“Lance, you okay, man?” Pidge asked, eyebrows furrowing. They maybe room between them on the couch and patted the seat between them.

Lance sat down next to him on the couch and Hunk brought him into a big bear hug. The cats soon followed and crowded around them and the couch, Blue jumping onto Lance’s lap.

“I-” Lance choked out, “I fucked up…” he answered, digging his face into Hunk’s chest. He began to weep as Pidge rubbed his back. “I was trying to do something nice, but the way I went about doing it- God, I suck. I'm stupid. I didn't think about how I acted… I just…” he sighed.

Hunk shook his head, “Look, I’m not going to ask about what happened… But if you feel you want to talk about it, we can. Or we can just sit here. Either one. Or nothing. Up to you,” he soothed Lance.

“Thanks… So much. I- Thanks.”

\---

Allura’s phone started ringing, startling both her and Shiro awake.

“Coran?” he asked.

“Can't be… Wait a sec,” she yawned as she reached for her phone. Reading the caller ID she immediately sat up, “Keith, honey, what's wrong?” she cried.

Shiro jumped up as well after hearing Keith’s name, looking for his phone. Which he ended up finding under his lovely child, Black.

_(2 missed calls)_

“Can you come-” Keith stopped and sniffled before continuing with a raspy voice, “can you come over? I… I need someone. Shiro wasn't answering… I don't… I don't wanna burden him if he's busy.”

“No, no. He's right here with me,” Allura cooed, “Sweetie we’ll be right over. Don't do anything, we’ll be right over… Except maybe get tissues. You wanna talk about it on the phone?”

“You ever just think everything is okay… But then it isn't… And it isn't because it's all you and your stupid anger’s fault? Because maybe you could've worked something out, but you suck at communicating like a normal human?”

“Keith, you _are_ a normal human. If not, more than that. What’s wrong?” Allura and Shiro sat up getting ready to leave to see Keith.

“I…” Keith took a deep breath before continuing, “I just… I broke something… Something precious to me… And I don't think I can fix it… Not with what I've done. I was too rash and irritated… I… I let my anger get the best of me… And maybe it was a given, given the circumstances. But, I did something without thinking…”

“Do we need to bring anything? Glue? Tape?”

Keith weakly chuckled at the other end of the phone, “No… Just yourselves is fine.”

“Alright, be there soon.”

“Okay, thanks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't wait for Lance to get ready to reveal his secret. Boy, this took a turn.
> 
> "who knew a mothman joke could change everything"  
> Same, Neil... You should've known better.


	6. Pidge, You Genius, You....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Space parents are real, Hunk is a caring, loving man, and Pidge is a living genius.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't mean for the update to take this long...
> 
> How about that season 2?

**_[7:34:18 AM] Rover One to - > Space Dad™_ **

Rover One: Hey  
Rover One: Is Keith ummm  
Rover One: How is he?

Space Dad™: He called us last night and asked us to come over  
Space Dad™: Do you know what happened?

Rover One: Not exactly  
Rover One: Lance is torn up too tho so I just assumed

Space Dad™: Oh  
Space Dad™: They're having a fight

Rover One: **OH**  
Rover One: You know about them?

Space Dad™: No?  
Space Dad™: What?

Rover One: Ah, I should be clearer  
Rover One: Ha  
Rover One: I meant you know what happened _between_ them?  
Rover One: Yea that

Space Dad™: Keith didn't say much  
Space Dad™: but from what Allura told me he said he broke something  
Space Dad™: She took him literally is was p cute  
Space Dad™: Anyways I assume now he was talking about their friendship  
Space Dad™: It must be a bad fight if they're both torn up

Rover One: Yea yea  
Rover One: Over their friendship  
Rover One: So are you w/ him rn?

Space Dad™: Him and Allura are sleeping on his couch  
Space Dad™: He kinda fell asleep on her, too lol  
Space Dad™: We fell asleep mid-embrace

Rover One: OH MY GOD YOU GUYS R SO CUTE  
Rover One: Comforting your son  
Rover One: lol this is why you guys are the group parents  
Rover One: Good ones at that

Space Dad™: Well I mean  
Space Dad™: I guess she is like a wife

Rover One: I hear the church bells already  
Rover One: Do you think I can come over?  
Rover One: I wanna see him  
Rover One: Gotta talk to him about something

Space Dad™: He's not awake and he had a long night so he’ll probably be out for awhile  
Space Dad™: But I'll let you know when he's up

Rover One: Thanks

Space Dad™: Np

  
**_[11:55:21 PM] Space Dad™ to - > Rover One_ **

Space Dad™: He’s up  
Space Dad™: He also said to “ _bring your bitch-ass over_ ”  
Space Dad™: His words, not mine

Rover One: Tell him I said don't get his boxer briefs in a twist

Space Dad™: Uh  
Space Dad™: Sure

Rover One: I’ll be over in a couple

  
**_[12:04:47 AM] Rover One to - > Winner of the Universe™_ **

Rover One: I'm heading out rn  
Rover One: There's some soup on the stove Hunk made before he left

Winner of the Universe™: K

Rover One: Okay  
Rover One: Stay hydrated  
Rover One: Extra tissues are in front of the TV

Winner of the Universe™: Mhm

Rover One: And Lance?

Winner of the Universe™: Hm

Rover One: Don't shut yourself in your room all day  
Rover One: At least sit on the couch for a little  
Rover One: Maybe pet the cats

Winner of the Universe™: Sure

  
**_[12:11:05 AM] Rover One to - > Hunkin' Donuts_ **

Rover One: OH MY GOD HES SO **EMO** RN  
Rover One: understandably, _ofc_  
Rover One: BUT WE NEED TO CHEER HIM UP

Hunkin' Donuts: By hiding all the booze in the house?  
Hunkin' Donuts: And shutting the cats in his room?  
Hunkin' Donuts: And taking his blinds down so he gets vitamin d and light?  
Hunkin' Donuts: And leave a whole pack of water bottles on his room?  
Hunkin' Donuts: Maybe put some food in his, too?

Rover One: Those are a good idea  
Rover One: But I mean we need to get him out of the house  
Rover One: Ideas?

Hunkin' Donuts: Why not have everyone meet us at the diner and we party?

Rover One: NO

Hunkin' Donuts: Well I thought it was a good idea but if you're so against it…

Rover One: No, I mean  
Rover One: Him and Keith had a fight idk if that's the best course of action  
Rover One: If we do we have to give the fight a grace period

Hunkin' Donuts: _Oh_!  
Hunkin' Donuts: You should have told me sooner  
Hunkin' Donuts: Okay well in the meantime we have comfort him

Rover One: You still want to do the diner idea?

Hunkin' Donuts: … yeah if it's a fight they need to make up face-to-face

Rover One: You're right  
Rover One: Can you let the others know I've got something I need to do

Hunkin' Donuts: Yeah of course

  
**_[12:33:20 AM] Hunkin' Donuts to - > “New Chat”_ **

_**Hunkin' Donuts** added **Space Dad™, Space Wine Mom, Nigel Cornberry,** & **Rover One**_

_**Hunkin' Donuts** named the chat **“About Keith and Lance”**_

Hunkin' Donuts: Hey guys  
Hunkin' Donuts: I've got plans for next week

Space Dad™: Uh, shoot

Space Wine Mom: Go ahead

Nigel Cornberry: Allura filled me in, what's up?

Hunkin' Donuts: Pidge and me agreed  
Hunkin' Donuts: We gotta get Keith and Lance face-to-face  
Hunkin' Donuts: And we should get them both in our usual diner  
Hunkin' Donuts: But next week  
Hunkin' Donuts: So they have time to calm down

Space Dad™: Are we going to tell them everyone is going to be there?

Space Wine Mom: We have to do a dinner b/c me, keith, and Coran work in the afternoons all next week

Hunkin' Donuts: That’ll do, and idk if we should tell them everyone will be there  
Hunkin' Donuts: Just  
Hunkin' Donuts: ???

Space Wine Mom: We can split into groups  
Space Wine Mom: Me and Coran can take Keith after work and meet Shiro there  
Space Wine Mom: Pidge, Hunk, you both bring Lance

Nigel Cornberry: The usual booth?  
Nigel Cornberry: I can go ahead and reserve it

Space Dad™: Works for me  
Space Dad™: Which day?

Hunkin' Donuts: Since yesterday was apparently they day the fought, how does next Friday work for everyone?

Space Wine Mom: Good for me

Nigel Cornberry: Same.

Space Dad™: I can do that

Hunkin' Donuts: I’ll talk to Pidge later

Space Dad™: I’ll ask her when she gets here

Hunkin' Donuts: Oh  
Hunkin' Donuts: She's going to see Keith?

Space Wine Mom: Yep

Hunkin' Donuts: Alright well I guess that works  
Hunkin' Donuts: Let us know what she says

  
**_[4:40:38 PM] Winner of the Universe™ to - > Hunkin' Donuts_ **

Winner of the Universe™: Bro  
Winner of the Universe™: How does mailing stuff work

Hunkin' Donuts: Hm?  
Hunkin' Donuts: I’m at the store, I can show you when you get home  
Hunkin’ Donuts: Nice to see you initiating a conversation without 1 word replies/texts

Winner of the Universe™: AW that's nice of u bro <3 but no 

Hunkin' Donuts: no what?

Winner of the Universe™: *Nah don't worry bout it  
Winner of the Universe™: I can just read it online  
Winner of the Universe™: Can u drive me to the _mail… Delivery office place_?

Hunkin' Donuts: The _post office_?

Winner of the Universe™: Yea

Hunkin' Donuts: Of course man, if you wanna get out of the house I'm game

Winner of the Universe™: Thx man  
Winner of the Universe™: So much  
Winner of the Universe™: U don't even know what this means to me

Hunkin' Donuts: Yeah np I'm about to check out  
Hunkin' Donuts: Be ready we have to get there before they close

Winner of the Universe™: Alright

  
**_[9:06:43 PM] Winner of the Universe™ to - > Rover One_ **

Winner of the Universe™: R u staying at Keith’s tonight?  
Winner of the Universe™: Asking for Hunk

Rover One: I think so  
Rover One: I don't have shit to do tomorrow  
Rover One: So I thought why not  
Rover One: He said it was fine

Winner of the Universe™: Alright  
Winner of the Universe™: Also…  
Winner of the Universe™: How is he?  
Winner of the Universe™: I'm asking for myself this time  
Winner of the Universe™: Can I ask that at least?

Rover One: Are you asking me?  
Rover One: Or are you asking him?

Winner of the Universe™: Yes?

-

Pidge sighed at her phone. “KEITH. Get in here!” A groan came as an answer from behind his bedroom door. “Now.” This time no answer came.

She stood up from the couch mumbling something over her breath and swung his door open.

“KEITH.”

“Pidge,” he finally said.

“I said get in there.”

“Pidge, I wanna sleep.”

“You're really doing this?”

“Yep.”

Pidge scoffed and pulled the covers off Keith’s feet. “You're going to get up. The only thing you've done today is move from the couch to your bed, and brood. Get up, Keith.”

He stayed silent and pulled his covers over his head. “No.”

“You leave me no choice.”

“Don't you dar-”

Before he could finish, she pulled him by his ankles. He grabbed at his bedpost as Pidge yanked him.

“You can't do this forever, Kogane!”

“Watch me!”

“Ugh! You know what,” she growled and dropped his ankles, “fine. You're torn up, I get it… Just- Here.” She gave in and threw her phone at him over the blankets.

He peeked out to see her phone screen unlocked with a chat open.

“Have a chat. It'll be good for you both. Pretend to be me, don't, I don't care. Just… Have at it,” she finished and exited his room. As she shut the door, Red dropped down from his window onto his bed.

He sighed and sat up to look at the phone. “Pidge…”

-

  
**_[9:29:16 PM] Rover One to - > Winner of the Universe™_ **

Rover One: He **looks** like shit.  
Rover One: He **feels** like shit.  
Rover One: _You know._  
Rover One: The way anyone is like after something like **that**.

Winner of the Universe™: He would never look bad, Pidge smh  
Winner of the Universe™: but he told you the story? I bet I seem like an asshole  
Winner of the Universe™: Probably like I had no reason to be emotional and broody

Rover One: That's putting it _lightly_.  
Rover One: After what you did you don't deserve to feel remorse.

Winner of the Universe™: It really is a different story Pidge  
Winner of the Universe™: I swear  
Winner of the Universe™: U no I would never intentionally hurt him

Rover One: Then what the hell, Lance?

Winner of the Universe™: I suck at surprising people tbh  
Winner of the Universe™: but u no that  
Winner of the Universe™: U promise not to tell him?

Rover One: Tell _him what?_

Winner of the Universe™: What I've been doin…

Rover One: Lance, what the **HELL** can you tell Pidge and not me?

Winner of the Universe™: Whut

Rover One: *What can you tell me and not Keith?  
Rover One: My bad  
Rover One: That wording sounded better in my head.  
Rover One: Empathy.  
Rover One: Through Keith’s perspective.  
Rover One: Yeah.  
Rover One: Just think how he feels rn.  
Rover One: Why don't you tell him this?

Winner of the Universe™: Do u need me to define what a surprise is to u?

Rover One: I’m not an _idiot_ , Lance.

Winner of the Universe™: God even ur grammar is like him rn  
Winner of the Universe™: Throwin me off a bit ngl

Rover One: Shit you're right  
Rover One: Uh  
Rover One: My bad  
Rover One: Being around him for a day does that to you

Winner of the Universe™: Anyways  
Winner of the Universe™: I _did_ explain it to him?

Rover One: No you fucking didn't  
Rover One: Why are you lying rn  
Rover One: Is that you're new thing?

Winner of the Universe™: No!  
Winner of the Universe™: God, no!  
Winner of the Universe™: I see he told u the his side of the story  
Winner of the Universe™: Emphasis on the italicising  
Winner of the Universe™: I ‘ _did_ ’  
Winner of the Universe™: He just won't get the explanation until like  
Winner of the Universe™: “3-5 business days”  
Winner of the Universe™: Whenever that is

Rover One: Wait what

Winner of the Universe™: It’s with the surprise  
Winner of the Universe™: I’ve been  
Winner of the Universe™: PromiSE U WONT TELL  
Winner of the Universe™: This is bro code or something

Rover One: I _promise_

Winner of the Universe™: Idk if ur serious  
Winner of the Universe™: But what have I got to lose  
Winner of the Universe™: I've already lost him

Rover One: That all depends on your explanation

Winner of the Universe™: u think so?  
Winner of the Universe™: _All_ of it does?

Rover One: Just continue

Winner of the Universe™: I  
Winner of the Universe™: I’ve been working an extra job these past 2 weeks  
Winner of the Universe™: A publishing agency needed a translator  
Winner of the Universe™: And since I'm bilingual ( _don't even think about making a pun_ )  
Winner of the Universe™: They said they'd hire me to do it  
Winner of the Universe™: And there was this thing  
Winner of the Universe™: u no that thing I told u I was savin up for  
Winner of the Universe™: not that I told u what it was just that I was but it's a thing  
Winner of the Universe™: so I took the job so I could get it in time for our 2 month anniversary  
Winner of the Universe™: And I've been working a lot lately I just got overly exhausted and shit and forgot what was really important

Rover One: That's a _thing_?  
Rover One: You're supposed to get each other something for that milestone?!

Winner of the Universe™: No  
Winner of the Universe™: U don't have to  
Winner of the Universe™: But I wanted to surprise him  
Winner of the Universe™: I wasn't gonna have enough to buy it until his birthday  
Winner of the Universe™: But this translation job helped me get the money I needed now so I just  
Winner of the Universe™: I had to  
Winner of the Universe™: I didn't wanna wait  
Winner of the Universe™: But now I see my mistake…

Rover One: Um  
Rover One: I know it's not my place to speak  
Rover One: But  
Rover One: Why don't you tell him this now?  
Rover One: What if he didn't know and saw the package from you and threw it away?  
Rover One: Why don't you give it to him in person?

Winner of the Universe™: Those r his decisions to make  
Winner of the Universe™: I won't force myself onto him  
Winner of the Universe™: What I did  
Winner of the Universe™: How I did what I did  
Winner of the Universe™: It wasn't rite  
Winner of the Universe™: If he doesn't open it  
Winner of the Universe™: That's like $200 down the drain but totally worth it

Rover One: **$200?!?!?!**  
Rover One: For a **2 month anniversary gift**?!

Winner of the Universe™: Uh yea Pidge  
Winner of the Universe™: He means enough to me for me to invest at least that on  
Winner of the Universe™: If not more  
Winner of the Universe™: I love this man…  
Winner of the Universe™: So much.  
Winner of the Universe™: He's so much more than that.  
Winner of the Universe™: And deserves more than a gift for $200

Rover One: Why don't you tell him that?  
Rover One: Why have you never?

Winner of the Universe™: Idk  
Winner of the Universe™: It's just a feeling that what if he never wanted to go that far or didn't want to I no  
Winner of the Universe™: Be that serious  
Winner of the Universe™: “I love you” kinda serious…  
Winner of the Universe™: B/c u no… He’s in a relationship with **me**  
Winner of the Universe™: *Was in  
Winner of the Universe™: I've never been loved in that way in my life, by someone who wasn't family  
Winner of the Universe™: The thought of being rejected by him  
Winner of the Universe™: It hurt u no?  
Winner of the Universe™: I wish I could've told him that now tho

Rover One: _Why_?

Winner of the Universe™: B/c I miss him…  
Winner of the Universe™: I love him so much…  
Winner of the Universe™: I wish I could see him rn  
Winner of the Universe™: And just…  
Winner of the Universe™: Love the shit outta him and… Stuff  
Winner of the Universe™: U no?

Rover One: So why don't you?  
Rover One: What's holding you back?

Winner of the Universe™: He wouldn't want to see me  
Winner of the Universe™: In his eyes  
Winner of the Universe™: I’m just a lyin guy who doesn't his love or respect him  
Winner of the Universe™: It's so much more different than that but  
Winner of the Universe™: I don't wanna hurt him  
Winner of the Universe™: I’m goin to give him space  
Winner of the Universe™: I owe him that much

Rover One: Lance

Winner of the Universe™: Yea?

Rover One: I wanna see you

Winner of the Universe™: Ull see me in the morning Pidge?

Rover One: No  
Rover One: Lance  
Rover One: _I_ want to see you  
Rover One: Like right now

Winner of the Universe™: Whaaaaaat is happening

Rover One: Get off your scrawny ass  
Rover One: and get here rn

Winner of the Universe™: Uhhhhhhhh  
Winner of the Universe™: But ur at Keith’s????????  
Winner of the Universe™: So no can do?

Rover One: Oh my fucking God let me make this clearer

Winner of the Universe™: ??????????????

-

Keith face palmed and got up from his bed to move to the living room, his lovely daughter following suit.

“Here,” he simple said, handing his phone to Pidge. “Can I have mine back? I know Shiro took it, but I know you have it. Give it.”

“Chill, man, let me get it,” she sighed, getting up. “I see something went well.”

“Yeahhh,” he prolonged, “I’m gonna need you to, like… Go home, maybe?”

“Oh. That well, huh?” she teased and wiggled her eyebrows.

“No- Maybe… We need to talk. That's all.”

“Mhm. Here,” she nodded and handed him his phone. “Alright, I'm headin back. You two, try not to kill each other.”

“I'll try,” he shrugged.

“Lucky me I get to read it all~” she mumbled as he walked out the door.

-

  
**_[10:24:46 PM] Mothman's Boyfriend to - > Winner of the Universe™_ **

Mothman's Boyfriend: I want to see you.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: Now.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: My place in 30 minutes.

Winner of the Universe™: KEITH???? WHAT R U DOING??? WERE U ON PIDGES PHONE?!?!!!  
Winner of the Universe™: Keith I don't want u to feel like you need to do this

Mothman's Boyfriend: No, my mind is made up.  
Mothman's Boyfriend:  _Yes_  I had Pidge's phone, is that not clear, now?  
Mothman's Boyfriend: And we need to talk.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: Right now.

Winner of the Universe™: R u serious? 

Mothman's Boyfriend: Would I be talking to you or asking you if I wasn't?

Winner of the Universe™: Ik  
Winner of the Universe™: But are you 100% sure you want to see me rn?

Mothman's Boyfriend: Come and find out.

Winner of the Universe™: … U drive a hard bargain...  
Winner of the Universe™: Okay!  
Winner of the Universe™: Omw!

  
**_[10:35:32 PM] Rover One to - > “About Keith and Lance”_ **

Rover One: So about them meeting face to face...

Space Wine Mom: Are you kidding me

Space Dad™: Without asking us about it?  
Space Dad™: What did you do?

Rover One: I can't tell. It's a secret.  
Rover One: Can't break the bro code.

Nigel Cornberry: Jolly good for them! ^-^ I’m happy they're on speaking terms.

Hunkin' Donuts: Ahhhhhh  
Hunkin' Donuts: There goes my plan

Rover One: Ngl if you don't want that reservation anymore I'll still go

Space Wine Mom: Same tbh

Space Dad™: Also same

Nigel Cornberry: I made the reservation, I'm sure as heck still going!

Hunkin' Donuts: Welp  
Hunkin' Donuts: At least it isn't going to waste


	7. I Can't Believe Lance is Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance dies and Hunk finds out their apartment is haunted

**_[10:57:12 AM] Winner of the Universe™ to - > Rover One_ **

Winner of the Universe™: Thx my dude u really saved my ass  
Winner of the Universe™: And my relationship  
Winner of the Universe™: I'm greatly indebted to u

Rover One: Well _now that you say it_

Winner of the Universe™: Not rn  
Winner of the Universe™: Ofc

Rover One: Lmao chill I was joking  
Rover One: But still

Winner of the Universe™: ?

Rover One: Enjoy him while you still can  
Rover One: B/c when you get home you've got some chores to do

Winner of the Universe™: I already did my chores this week?

Rover One: **Surprise**!

Winner of the Universe™: Oh  
Winner of the Universe™: Fuck u  
Winner of the Universe™: No actually nvm this it a fine price to pay for helping me  
Winner of the Universe™: Alrighty

Rover One: RIP man b/c I left you some good dishes in the sink

Winner of the Universe™: Still worth it

 

**_[7:32:41 PM] Mothman's Boyfriend to - > “Group Funeral”_ **

Mothman's Boyfriend: “ _Join a club!” he said._  
Mothman's Boyfriend: “ _It’ll be fun!” he said._  
Mothman's Boyfriend: Fuck you, Shiro.

Space Dad™: You know you still love me

Mothman's Boyfriend: I do, but like...  
Mothman's Boyfriend: What the fuck?  
Mothman's Boyfriend: I trusted you.

Winner of the Universe™: What is it now?

Mothman's Boyfriend: Karate club.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: It's just so… I like it but these people…

Rover One: Same  
Rover One: People are disgusting  
Rover One: They talk so much

Space Dad™: Uh-oh

Rover One: I was trying to do my project in class today  
Rover One: And this annoying ass kid came up and tried to talk to me  
Rover One: I had my headphones on and he tried to talk to me

Winner of the Universe™: Someone didn't get the headphone memo

Rover One: **IKR**  
Rover One: YOU JUST DON'T TALK TO SOMEONE WHEN THEY HAVE THEM ON

Mothman's Boyfriend: Ew. I knew this old man once from a foster family and he used to talk to me 24/7 even tho I always tried to emphasise I had headphones on and didn't wanna talk.

Winner of the Universe™: In his defense  
Winner of the Universe™: He was trying to save u from ur shitty taste in music

Mothman's Boyfriend: _RUDE_!

Winner of the Universe™: Lmao and what r u gonna do about it

Mothman's Boyfriend: I’m going to literally kill you.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: Brb

Winner of the Universe™: _Sure Jan_

Space Dad™: You guys make up and suddenly it's like nothing changed or happened

Rover One: It’s for the best tbh

Winner of the Universe™: It’s all in the past bro  
Winner of the Universe™: it's all good

Rover One: _Sure Jan_

Winner of the Universe™: Why would u do that to me

Rover One: B/c

Winner of the Universe™: Piiiiiiidge  
Winner of the Universe™: Get the door, someone knocked

Rover One: Wtf like I'm not doing anything  
Rover One: You get up and answer it

Winner of the Universe™: I see you outside the door on the couch doing nothing  
Winner of the Universe™: It’s close to u

Rover One: Ugh

Space Dad™: Why would someone be at the door this late at night?

Winner of the Universe™: PALSKDKWBQNEKEOTIRUDBSJAPK  
Winner of the Universe™: **HERLP**

Space Wine Mom: I can't believe I came back in time to see Lance die  
Space Wine Mom: Anyone got popcorn?

Rover One: No but I got a front row seat I no longer want  
Rover One: I’m shutting his door  
Rover One: This is gay

Space Dad™: What was it?

Rover One: It was Keith at the door  
Rover One: RIP Lance  
Rover One: I can't believe he's dead

Space Wine Mom: I’ll get the kazoos  
Space Wine Mom: At least they've made up tho

Space Dad™: I would ask him what he wants played at his funeral  
Space Dad™: But I'm p sure he's already dead  
Space Dad™: It is good they're interacting again

Rover One: True  
Rover One: I'll let them have this moment

  
**_[1:26:39 AM] Hunkin' Donuts to - > “Group Funeral”_ **

Hunkin' Donuts: You guys I think this apartment is haunted

Space Dad™: Why are you all always up this late  
Space Dad™: What's wrong Hunk?

Rover One: **HAAAAAAHAHA IM DEADASS**

Hunkin' Donuts: There's ghosts that live in this apartment, Shiro  
Hunkin' Donuts: There's like moaning and groaning of the vengeful dead coming out  
Hunkin' Donuts: And this late at night?  
Hunkin' Donuts: This place is haunted  
Hunkin' Donuts: Maybe it got Lance  
Hunkin' Donuts: He hasn’t come out from his room since I got home

Space Dad™: Pidge?

Rover One: Idk what he’s talking about  
Rover One: Hunk maybe you should go ask Lance if he hears anything lmfao  
Rover One: Or if he’s alive

Hunkin' Donuts: Maybe he does hear it and is too scared to leave his room  
Hunkin' Donuts: If you can't hear it maybe it's a ghost in one of our rooms

Space Dad™: Hunk there's no such things as ghosts

Hunkin' Donuts: And how do you know???  
Hunkin' Donuts: They're p much everywhere Shiro  
Hunkin' Donuts: Some just don't want to be heard  
Hunkin' Donuts: This one wants to be heard  
Hunkin' Donuts: THERES LIKE BANGING ON THE WALLS OR WINDOWS I’M SCARED  
Hunkin' Donuts: EVEN YELLOW WOKE UP

Rover One: There's always a couch to sleep on

Hunkin' Donuts: Omg but what if the ghost attacks  
Hunkin' Donuts: Wait  
Hunkin' Donuts: Pidge you hear that?

Rover One: No

Hunkin' Donuts: Exactly

Space Dad™: Hunk what's going on now?

Hunkin' Donuts: It’s quiet now…  
Hunkin' Donuts: Maybe it left

Rover One: Lmao yeah maybe it did

  
**_[8:02:26 AM] Winner of the Universe™ to - > “Group Funeral”_ **

Winner of the Universe™: Oh boy  
Winner of the Universe™: Well  
Winner of the Universe™: I heard the ghost last night to

Rover One: _I bet you did_

Winner of the Universe™: Pidge stfu

Nigel Cornberry: Am I missing something?  
Nigel Cornberry: Lance, my boy, you're up early!

Winner of the Universe™: I guess yeah  
Winner of the Universe™: I got class soon  
Winner of the Universe™: So I had to wake up to get ready  
Winner of the Universe™: clean my face n shit

Space Dad™: LANGUAGE

Winner of the Universe™: I don't even no y u even try with that anymore Shiro

Mothman's Boyfriend: Oh...  
Mothman's Boyfriend: There’s a ghost in your apartment?

Winner of the Universe™: Yeah I'm surprised it only started talking to us last night

Mothman's Boyfriend: _That’s unfortunate._

Rover One: Keith why are you up rn?  
Rover One: You don't have to work until the afternoon time

Mothman's Boyfriend: I had to take Red out for a walk.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: So I gotta get up so I can go outside decently?

Rover One: Mhm

Space Dad™: Keith do you mind looking after Black tonight?

Mothman's Boyfriend: Sure, why not. I've got nothing better to do.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: I get off work around 7, just bring her over.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: Why?

Space Dad™: Date night

Mothman's Boyfriend: Oh, okay. Well, have fun!

Nigel Cornberry: Be careful, tonight, Shiro. Treat her well, no buzzed or drunk driving, and use condoms!

Winner of the Universe™: OMFG  
Winner of the Universe™: LAKALQLWKEKDJWBWKOA

Rover One: I didn't need to see that this early in the morning

Space Dad™: of course, Coran, you can trust me

  
**_[8:24:12 AM] Rover One to - > Winner of the Universe™_ **

Rover One: You're lucky I love money  
Rover One: Or God knows I would have exposed nyalls asses

Winner of the Universe™: _Idk what ur talking about_  
Winner of the Universe™: that ghost around our house isn't my fault, Pidge

Rover One: Poor Hunk  
Rover One: He's too innocent

Winner of the Universe™: Ik I love him  
Winner of the Universe™: such a Cinnamon roll  
Winner of the Universe™: Too pure for the world

  
**_[8:31:04 AM] Winner of the Universe™ to - > Mothman's Boyfriend_ **

Winner of the Universe™: _Great_ now my house is haunted

Mothman's Boyfriend: A small price to pay.

Winner of the Universe™: This is why I said u gotta stay quiet  
Winner of the Universe™: The damn walls are too thin to be doing it at my house

Mothman's Boyfriend: Well there's a first time for everything, Lance.

_**Mothman's Boyfriend** shrugs_

Mothman's Boyfriend: Btw are you coming over tonight? I'm watching Black and all.

Winner of the Universe™: Yea sure p sure Hunk has another late study date w/ Shay and Company™  
Winner of the Universe™: Get any boxes in the mail today?  
Winner of the Universe™: They said 3-5 business days and I think today is the 3rd one?

Mothman's Boyfriend: Haven’t really gotten home.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: I’m stopped for coffee, right now.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: There's some new barista and its a long line rn.

Winner of the Universe™: Ooh  
Winner of the Universe™: Can I come over real quick?

Mothman's Boyfriend: Lance you have class.

Winner of the Universe™: But I got up extra early!  
Winner of the Universe™: B/c of u may I add  
Winner of the Universe™: I've got an hour before class and I'm ready all I have to do is leave

Mothman's Boyfriend: …  
Mothman's Boyfriend: Fine.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: But make sure you're on time.

Winner of the Universe™: Scout’s honour!

  
**_[9:23:18 AM] Winner of the Universe™ to - > “Group Funeral”_ **

Winner of the Universe™: Omg Nyall  
Winner of the Universe™: listen to this

Rover One: I've stopped listening after the 2nd year I've known you  
Rover One: but pls continue

Winner of the Universe™: Rude  
Winner of the Universe™: _Anyways_

Mothman's Boyfriend: Omfg just shut up about it already, Lance.

Winner of the Universe™: THERE’S A NEW BARISTA AT VREPIDCCINO

Space Wine Mom: Really?  
Space Wine Mom: Are they cute?

Space Dad™: Wow  
Space Dad™: I’m right here Allura

Winner of the Universe™: YES!!!!  
Winner of the Universe™: His name is Lotor~

Space Wine Mom: Sounds familiar…?

Nigel Cornberry: If I didn't know any better I’d say you're quite taken with him!

Winner of the Universe™: In a way, yes  
Winner of the Universe™: The way he said Vrepid sa when my order was ready and he called out my name  
Winner of the Universe™: **AHHHHHHH**  
Winner of the Universe™: I’m not sure I can go to class anymore

Mothman's Boyfriend: Oh my fuck I'm done.

Winner of the Universe™: And his beauty routine!  
Winner of the Universe™: I've gotta switch tips with him  
Winner of the Universe™: His face and hair were on pOINT!

Rover One: Oh my god  
Rover One: You thirsty man

Mothman's Boyfriend: Pidge he has coffee to drink he's not thirsty rn

Space Wine Mom: _So innocent_

Rover One: Wait for it…

Nigel Cornberry: I don't get it?

Mothman's Boyfriend: Wait.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: Pidge, wtf?????

Rover One: There you go, tiger

Winner of the Universe™: I’m not _thirsty_  
Winner of the Universe™: I get enough _hydration_ in my life  
Winner of the Universe™: But this guy is p hot

Space Wine Mom: Too much info  
Space Wine Mom: I don't even wanna ask

Mothman's Boyfriend: Omfg Lance. Just shut up already.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: I’m taking my cat out for a walk. With someone who isn't infatuated with some boy she just met.

Winner of the Universe™: Hey!  
Winner of the Universe™: Shes a lesbian  
Winner of the Universe™: That's not a fair comparison  
Winner of the Universe™: I'm sure she was like this when she saw Blue!

Mothman’s Boyfriend: Bye.

Rover One: Someone’s in the dog house  
Rover One: **Again**  
Rover One: After all our hard work  
Rover One: Smdh

  
**_[7:05:36 PM] Winner of the Universe™ to - > Mothman's Boyfriend_ **

Winner of the Universe™: Keith  
Winner of the Universe™: Keithy boy  
Winner of the Universe™: Babe  
Winner of the Universe™: Babyyyyy  
Winner of the Universe™: Ik ur off work  
Winner of the Universe™: Pay attention to me!!!!!!

Mothman's Boyfriend: Maybe you can get _Lotor_ to pay attention to you.

Winner of the Universe™: AHA  
Winner of the Universe™: I new u were jealous over him

Mothman's Boyfriend: _What gave it away?_

Winner of the Universe™: When you gave him a death glare when our hands brush while I got my coffee  
Winner of the Universe™: Which was cute btw

Mothman's Boyfriend: It wasn't _cute_.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: I saw the way he looked at you!  
Mothman's Boyfriend: With those...  
Mothman's Boyfriend: Yellow?  
Mothman's Boyfriend: devilish eyes!  
Mothman's Boyfriend: I had to assert my authority!

Winner of the Universe™: Am I still allowed over tonight?

Mothman's Boyfriend: I **should** say no

Winner of the Universe™: _buuuuuuut_?

Mothman's Boyfriend: I can't.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: So…  
Mothman's Boyfriend: Yeah.

Winner of the Universe™: Omg ur blushing rn’t u

Mothman's Boyfriend: No.

Winner of the Universe™: Well we’ll just have to see when I get there  
Winner of the Universe™: I bet $10 u r

Mothman's Boyfriend: WELL IM NOT SO  
Mothman's Boyfriend: YEAH

Winner of the Universe™: U didn't say u were betting against it

Mothman's Boyfriend: Because!  
Mothman's Boyfriend: FUCK YOU!

Winner of the Universe™: Well see about that

Mothman's Boyfriend: Really?  
Mothman's Boyfriend: Wait. Oh my god. Why am I dating you?

Winner of the Universe™: B/c u get jealous whenever other people try to hit on me

Mothman's Boyfriend: no comment

Winner of the Universe™: b/c u no it's tru

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna make a coffee au now. My friend made up the name Vrepidccino and a coffee shop fic was made.  
> We don't make the rules.


	8. Jealousy, Thy Name is Keith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misunderstandings, broganes, and Hunk loves drama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a longer ch for you guys??? It's been awhile since the last update, my bad.

**_[9:12:42 AM] Winner of the Universe™ to - > “There's a Spide”_ **

Winner of the Universe™: **AGHHHHHHH**  
Winner of the Universe™: Why must this happen to me

Rover One: Uh-oh what happened

Space Dad™: _This_ time

Winner of the Universe™: Why is my coffee leaking on me  
Winner of the Universe™: I hate Vrepitccino  
Winner of the Universe™: I bet they did this on purpose

Mothman's Boyfriend: HA!  
Mothman's Boyfriend: Can't say I blame them.

Rover One: Same tbh

Mothman's Boyfriend: You complain but you know damn well you're going straight back there tomorrow.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: And the day after that.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: _And the day after that._

Winner of the Universe™: Damnit now it's on my shirt  
Winner of the Universe™: Fuck u guys

Rover One: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Mothman's Boyfriend: Gay.

Winner of the Universe™: Where's Hunk he’ll help me

Rover One: Still asleep  
Rover One: He had a long study night last night

Space Dad™: At least _someone_ stays up to _study_  
Space Dad™: Unlike my _other_ kids

Mothman's Boyfriend: Really, Shiro?

Rover One: HE CALLED US HIS KIDS

Space Dad™: Is that not my role?

Rover One: It is  
Rover One: You've learned well

Winner of the Universe™: Brb

Mothman's Boyfriend: Uh, okay.

 

 

**_[9:35:10 AM] Mothman's Boyfriend to - > “There's a Spide”_ **

Mothman's Boyfriend: OH MY GOD!  
Mothman's Boyfriend: **HELP!**

Space Dad™: Omfg it's barely been _30 minutes_ can you guys just stay out of trouble or need

Mothman's Boyfriend: I KNEW THIS WAS WEIRD!  
Mothman's Boyfriend: IT WAS OFF SOMEHOW!!!

Rover One: Lmao what

Mothman's Boyfriend: SOMEONE HELP IDK WHAT TO DO?!

Space Dad™: What's up **this** time?  
Space Dad™: Something’s _always_ wrong w/ you guys

Rover One: I can hear your dad sigh of disapproval from here

Mothman's Boyfriend: _Use your headphones and stick to your phone and no one will talk to you in public._  
Mothman's Boyfriend: Oh my god I was wrong to follow my own advice. Idk why I took my own advice, I never do...

Space Dad™: Keith

Mothman's Boyfriend: What?!

Space Dad™: Take a deep breath  
Space Dad™: How bad is it?  
Space Dad™: Take your time and explain so we can help.

Rover One: Really my dude  
Rover One: Calm down  
Rover One: How bad could it be

Mothman's Boyfriend: I wasn't paying attention and opened the door to the bathroom b/c I was listening to music and kept my head down…  
Mothman's Boyfriend: And, like...  
Mothman's Boyfriend: I didn't see a urinal and thought _this isn't my bathroom?_  
Mothman's Boyfriend: But I'd never been to the bathroom on this side of campus so maybe they didn't have them or something guys don't necessarily need urinals, right? So maybe this cheap ass school wants to save money and not build them in every bathroom? Idfk.

Rover One: **OH MY GOD** KEITH

Mothman's Boyfriend: But turns out I must have cut the corner too sharp and walked right into the girls bathroom.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: I didn't know when I walked in b/c it was empty.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: BUT LADIES JUST WALKED IN.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: I just realised its break time for some classes and I can't leave until they do?

Rover One: ‘ _ladies_ ’  
Rover One: At _our_ school?  
Rover One: Are we enrolled in the same college?  
Rover One: At least you're being polite considering your situation

Space Dad™: Keith you could just walk out  
Space Dad™: It’s just that easy  
Space Dad™: A simple mistake

Mothman's Boyfriend: BUT WHAT IF I CAN'T???  
Mothman's Boyfriend: I can't handle their stares, Shiro.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: You know how I get around crowds.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: It’s a lot of girls and they're doing their makeup and I've been in here so long what if they think I'm a pervert?!?!  
Mothman's Boyfriend: What if rumours start???

Rover One: This is why I always just hold it until I get home

Space Dad™: Don't you have other reasons for holding it?

Rover One: …  
Rover One: No.  
Rover One: No comment.

Winner of the Universe™: Back

Space Dad™: Wcb

Winner of the Universe™: OH MY GOD  
Winner of the Universe™: HAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA

Mothman's Boyfriend: I don't need your humiliation right now, Lance, I'm literally freaking out.

Winner of the Universe™: Nah I'm laughing b/c I did that once  
Winner of the Universe™: Not even gonna lie I’ll own up to it

Rover One: THIS JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER  
Rover One: Do tell  
Rover One: Hunk will love to hear about this when he gets up

Winner of the Universe™: It was like the first week of school when we didn't really know the campus lmao  
Winner of the Universe™: He already nos this tho  
Winner of the Universe™: Poor guy waited for me outside of the bathrooms alone and I told him all about it when he saw me walking out of the girls bathroom and asked me if that was my way of trying to come out to him God I love how pure he is b/c _there_ s  _no other reason a guy would be in a girl bathroom_

Mothman's Boyfriend: _Really,_ Lance? You disgust me.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: You're not just making that up to make me feel better?

Winner of the Universe™: College is confusing man every building has a different order for their bathrooms  
Winner of the Universe™: Except unlike u  
Winner of the Universe™: I just walked out like I owned the place  
Winner of the Universe™: Need me to come save u?

Mothman's Boyfriend: Lance that’s not necessary.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: I’m not a damsel in distress you can't just save me.

Rover One: You are in distress tho

Mothman's Boyfriend: Stfu, Pidge.

Space Dad™: Keith, if I weren't in class I would even come help you  
Space Dad™: If one of us go down  
Space Dad™: **WE ALL DO**

Winner of the Universe™: **WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER**

Mothman's Boyfriend: Oh.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: That's why.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: I really don't need help. I'm just in a bathroom, it's not like I'm dying.

Rover One: We’re all constantly dying

Mothman's Boyfriend: I didn’t ask for you to comment on that, _thanks, peanut gallery._

Winner of the Universe™: I’m already out and about y not?

Rover One: You don't have to come back and get new clothes?  
Rover One: I thought coffee leaked on you?

Winner of the Universe™: Nah, Lotor helped me after I said brb  
Winner of the Universe™: He saw me w/ my coffee in the shop and offered help since he just clocked out  
Winner of the Universe™: Apparently we wear the same shirt size  
Winner of the Universe™: He even bothered to buy me a new coffee

Rover One: _Ohohoho did he now?_  
Rover One: _And you just accepted his shirt?_  
Rover One: _**Hm**_

Space Dad™: _A new development_

Mothman's Boyfriend: Just enjoy your new cup of coffee.

Winner of the Universe™: Hm? Did u make it out already?

Mothman's Boyfriend: No, but I can get out by myself.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: It’s just a bathroom. The women can't stay in here forever.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: Don't bother coming, I'm sure they will leave, eventually. You're obviously busy, right now.

Winner of the Universe™: _Do you understand that girls crowd in bathrooms in breaks_  
Winner of the Universe™: Ur gonna be in their awhile  
Winner of the Universe™: Considering staggered schedules it may take awhile before its cleared again

Rover One: Especially considering what building you're in

Mothman's Boyfriend: I’m fine, I'll just wait it out.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: Until they're all gone, of course.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: It’s whatever.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: This is fine.

Winner of the Universe™: Keith no it's obviously not  
Winner of the Universe™: So _no_  
Winner of the Universe™: I'm comin to get u

Mothman's Boyfriend: _No_ , you're _not_.

Rover One: Someone’s in the...  
Rover One: DOG!  
Rover One: HOUSE!

Winner of the Universe™: oh my GOD Pidge  
Winner of the Universe™: not rn

Space Dad™: Pidge don't instigate they just had a fight barely 4 days ago  
Space Dad™: Keith he really doesn't mind coming to help you, just let him

Winner of the Universe™: Keith tell me where u r  
Winner of the Universe™: I’m coming wether u like it or not

Rover One: That's what he said

Space Dad™: Really Pidge?

Rover One: Well it is he literally just did say it

Mothman's Boyfriend: **No** , I’m going to wait it out.

Winner of the Universe™: Keith you're going to be late or end up missing a class of u wait too long  
Winner of the Universe™: We can talk when I get there and pull ur ass out of the bathroom

Mothman's Boyfriend: **No thanks** I'm fine.

Winner of the Universe™: Keith I know what two classes u have today  
Winner of the Universe™: If that means I have to search every barroom in between then I will

Mothman's Boyfriend: **Do it.**

Rover One: OH SHIT

Mothman's Boyfriend: _I dare you._  
Mothman's Boyfriend: Waste your time.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: Won't bother me a bit.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: I already said I don't need your help, so just go enjoy time with Lotor, or whatever.

Space Dad™: Keith…

Rover One: Istg if you guys start fighting again I'm not helping

Space Dad™: Yes you will

Rover One: *if you guys start fighting again I'm helping

Winner of the Universe™: No, we don't need help I'm going to find Keith and we’re talking it out this time

Mothman's Boyfriend: Um???  
Mothman's Boyfriend: I never agreed to this.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: We are _not_.

Winner of the Universe™: **Unbelievable**  
Winner of the Universe™: Brfb

Space Dad™: Pls, language, you guys  
Space Dad™: Oml you're like an old married couple

Rover One: Lmao _like_ _a_ n old married _couple_

Space Dad™: What?

Rover One: Nothing nvm

 

  
**_[10:02:53 AM] Rover One to - > Winner of the Universe™_ **

Rover One: WHEN I SAY **DOG** , YOU SAY **HOUSE**!  
Rover One: **DOG!**

Winner of the Universe™: Seriously Pidge not rn

Rover One: Ik I'm only teasing  
Rover One: Would it help you if I told you what bathroom he was it

Winner of the Universe™: it would actually…  
Winner of the Universe™: isn't that like breach of privacy tho

Rover One: No  
Rover One: Maybe  
Rover One: Do you want to talk to Keith’s jealous butt or not?

Winner of the Universe™: Yes…

Rover One: Alright one sec

 

  
**_[10:05:25 AM] Space Dad™ to - > Mothman's Boyfriend_ **

Space Dad™: **Keith.**

Mothman's Boyfriend: No, we are **not** doing this, right now.

Space Dad™: Oh yes _we are_

Mothman's Boyfriend: Just give me space, Shiro.

Space Dad™: You know I would if I honestly thought you needed it  
Space Dad™: And now that I'm out of class we’re going to talk about it  
Space Dad™: Talk to me, Keith

Mothman's Boyfriend: Why?  
Mothman's Boyfriend: Since you're out of class you can come help me like you said you would in place of Lance.

Space Dad™: You need to talk to someone  
Space Dad™: And I’m here to lend an ear, or screen in this case  
Space Dad™: So let's talk this out  
Space Dad™: What's up?

Mothman's Boyfriend: Ugh.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: You could save the me effort and jet come GET ME YOURSELF! WE COULD TALK??? FACE-TO-FACE!?

Space Dad™: Nope not gonna happen

Mothman's Boyfriend: LALSLDKDKDKSNANENDKMA!!!!!  
Mothman's Boyfriend: I don't wanna talk about it.

Space Dad™: Keith  
Space Dad™: I know you  
Space Dad™: And I know how to talk to you and how you act  
Space Dad™: And I want to know what's wrong so we can fix it  
Space Dad™: This is better than listening to your pining playlist at 2 AM in the morning b/c you're jealous

Mothman's Boyfriend: That's actually…  
Mothman's Boyfriend: Very comforting, rn…

Space Dad™: That’s what I was going for, yeah

Mothman's Boyfriend: BUT YOU PROMISED NEVER TO SPEAK OF THAT.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: I don't even live with you anymore.

Space Dad™: So…  
Space Dad™: Lance? What's up with Lance?

Mothman's Boyfriend: Why do you just _assume_ it's Lance?

Space Dad™: Because everything was _fine-ish_ before he came back? As fine as someone who's in the wrong bathroom can be  
Space Dad™: So what's wrong?

Mothman's Boyfriend: **Fucking Lotor.**

Space Dad™: He's fucking Lotor?  
Space Dad™: Oh, so you're seriously jealous I'm sorry I didn't know that was the case

Mothman’s Boyfriend: Shiro, wait… No.

Space Dad™: Y’know I can set you up with other people Keith there's other guys out there for you to meet

Mothman's Boyfriend: NO! Damn, Shiro shut up and listen like you said you would.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: I’m 99.99% sure he isn't.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: Um…  
Mothman's Boyfriend: An, I mean thanks, Shiro, but don't need a hook-up, though.

Space Dad™: And the other .01%...?

Mothman's Boyfriend: Is incredibly insecure and scared of what may happen and Lotor may steal him…

Space Dad™: ‘ _Steal_ ’ him?  
Space Dad™: Keith  
Space Dad™: I actually honestly don't know what to say  
Space Dad™: You know he's not property right?

Mothman's Boyfriend: No shit he's not _property_ , he's so much more than that.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: But he _is_ mine.

Space Dad™: Um…?

Mothman's Boyfriend: and then one day some…  
Mothman's Boyfriend: hot guy walks into his life.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: A guy who openly expresses his desire for him???  
Mothman's Boyfriend: And like how do I compete with that???  
Mothman's Boyfriend: I get embarrassed from just looking at him when he smiles??????

Space Dad™: You know Lance isn't the type to date someone he just met, right?  
Space Dad™: Like sure he gets into a lot of trouble with his advances with attraction, yeah, but he doesn't dive headfirst into things like relationships

Mothman's Boyfriend: I’m not scared of them dating!  
Mothman's Boyfriend: I’m scared Lance might leave me!  
Mothman's Boyfriend: Yeah, okay, then maybe date him. **BUT STILL!**

Space Dad™: Leave you?  
Space Dad™: He’s a pretty constant friend in your life, Keith, he wouldn't leave you just because he started dating someone?

Mothman's Boyfriend: **‘FRIEND’**  
Mothman's Boyfriend: It's like I forget who I’m talking to.

Space Dad™: ?

Mothman's Boyfriend: Shiro, we’re _dating_.

Space Dad™: OH.  
Space Dad™: When did this start???  
Space Dad™: You didn't tell me this sooner?  
Space Dad™: So is this like the fight last week?  
Space Dad™: When I called you last week he didn't sleep on your couch did he?!  
Space Dad™: Are you two being safe?!?!

Mothman's Boyfriend: UGH OMG SHIRO EW WE ARE NOT HAVING THIS TALK RN

Space Dad™: Keith you’ve gotta tell me these things  
Space Dad™: Fill me in  
Space Dad™: Or I'll go straight to the other source of info

Mothman's Boyfriend: No.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: You can't let Lance know I told you yet.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: **SHIRO, NO.**

Space Dad™: omg wait does Pidge know is this what they were joking about

Mothman's Boyfriend: Uh…  
Mothman's Boyfriend: Pidge does know.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: I didn’t tell b/c you would never let me live my little gay heart down.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: And we have a bet going on.

Space Dad™: A bet?

Mothman's Boyfriend: I’ll explain it later.

Space Dad™: And ofc I'm gonna tease you, I’m your big bro  
Space Dad™: You won't escape my teasing but as of rn that's not what I'm here to do  
Space Dad™: But later, just you wait

Mothman's Boyfriend: And last week doesn't even matter.

Space Dad™: Keith.  
Space Dad™: You know you're jealous, right?

Mothman's Boyfriend: OF COURSE I AM?!

Space Dad™: And does Lance know this?

Mothman's Boyfriend: I’m sure he knows that I am.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: At least I'm sure he is suspicious of me being jealous… Idk?

Space Dad™: But does he know how you feel about Lotor?

Mothman's Boyfriend: About Lotor being a hot, conniving, snake who might kidnap all that I love and brings me happiness in life?  
Mothman's Boyfriend: No.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: Maybe?

Space Dad™: A bit dramatic, but  
Space Dad™: Keith maybe you should tell him?

Mothman's Boyfriend: No but he should already know!  
Mothman's Boyfriend: We kinda hit on the topic the other day.

Space Dad™: Kinda  
Space Dad™: And pray tell  
Space Dad™: _How should he just know?_

Mothman's Boyfriend: He just… Should!  
Mothman's Boyfriend: Lance is smarter than he lets on and he can read me easily.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: I literally wear my emotions on my sleeve how can no one know at this point.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: I’m sure even Lotor knows.

Space Dad™: Keith  
Space Dad™: He probably only thought Lotor was trying to be nice platonically today  
Space Dad™: Lance can dish pick-up lines but can't receive them  
Space Dad™: If he honestly picked up on Lotor taking a liking to him/flirting w/ him  
Space Dad™: Do you honestly think he wouldn't put forward he's in a relationship or not flip his shit when he told us casually about Lotor helping with him?

  
Mothman's Boyfriend: …  
Mothman's Boyfriend: _No_..

Space Dad™: Do you know what to do now?

Mothman's Boyfriend: Yes.

Space Dad™: Yes what?

Mothman's Boyfriend: _Yessir_ …

Space Dad™: Alright go get him tiger

Mothman's Boyfriend: I hate you.

Space Dad™: You know you love me  
Space Dad™: Someone’s got to help my oblivious brother and it's not himself

Mothman's Boyfriend: I refuse to admit anything.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: But thanks….

  
-

Just as Keith was about to send where he was to Lance, the bathroom door opened and a loud, masculine throat clearing echoes through the bathroom.

“Hey, ladies. Excuse me,” nervously let out the owner of the voice.

_How did he find me so quickly??? Was I on the phone that long?_

“I need to talk to my, uh, lady-friend. Any of these stalls not unlock in a long time?”

“That one over there has been closed since I got here 10 minutes ago,” answered a random female in the room.

Lance walked to stand in front of the stall. He cleared his throat again, “Can you lovely ladies g-give is a second? We have something to… Y’know…” He heard something rustling so he could only assume Lance was making gestures. “Talk about?”

Keith heard clattering from the counters, probably the women putting up make-up or something.

“Of course, sweetie. We’ll give you two a minute,” came another female’s voice, and soon the cluttering of heels and soles walked out of the door and the sound of gossiping and chatter left the room, now in silence.

“K-Keith?” stuttered Lance.

No answer came. Keith curled up on the lid of the toilet, too anxious to answer.

“I know you're mad… I wanna talk this out. Please?” he pleaded.

_I’m not mad. Not anymore, anyways._

More silence filled the room. Keith wanted to say something, he was just extremely nervous. Nothing would come out of he opened him mouth to reply, and it felt dry.

“I know I'm an idiot… We can talk this out… Just tell me what's wrong. I'll try to fix it…”

_Fix it…?_

“I-if you tell me what's wrong, I can fix it. Is it me? I can change… I'd change myself for you if it meant you wouldn't be angry at me, anymore…” he choked out.

“I’m not angry at you, Lance,” Keith finally answered, “I’m just… Less than what you deserve… I get anxious and jealous… It ends up getting the best of me… Gosh, this is the 2nd fight or misunderstanding we’ve had in a week…” it all started flowing out. “I just- I…”

“We don't always fight, these two fights are our first ones has a couple…” Lance chuckled, as if looking at the situation nostalgically. “You're so much more than what I deserve, babe… What are you jealous over?”

_Lotor._

“It’s Lotor, isn't it? I know you were jealous yesterday… I'm sorry.”

_See? I was right, he knew it was him. But it's not Lance’s fault._

“You know you don't have to worry about him, right, Keith? Sure he's hot, but he isn't you.”

_Not me?_

“Can you open the door?”

Keith sighed and finally stood up and walked to the door to unlock it. The second he did, he was wrapped in a warm embrace.

“Lotor isn't my sweet, feisty, mullet man who loves cryptids,” Lance mumbled as he brought Keith closer and fit his face into the crook of Keith’s neck. “He isn't the man who makes my heart jump by simply smiling or laughing. Not the man I pinned 2 or more years over. He isn't the one I’m with now.”

Keith fell more into the embrace and finally lifted his arms to hug Lance back. Some sweat was building up on his neck and he smelt like it. Even if it was Lotor’s shirt on him, it didn't smell like his, it smelt like Lance after he worked out at the gym. He would have to wash it for Lance before he returned it, no way in hell was that asshole going to get a shirt that smells like Lance. It was a strange possessiveness showering over him. Nonetheless, in a sense Keith ‘won’. Lance chose to run to him, not stay with some man-stealing, pretty boy, barista.

“I’m sorry… I blew my jealousy out of proportion… And now, we’re embracing in a woman’s bathroom,” Keith softly chuckled.

“There's a first for everything,” Lance sarcastically noted. “It's okay, Keith. You're jealousy is in the right places. I mean, who wouldn't want this,” the taller one joked and stepped away gesturing to himself.

Keith’s lips betrayed him and seemingly gave out into a big smile. “You're right, I don't know why I was jealous. No one wants that.”

Lance stomped his foot, “Fine, then I guess I came to rescue you from this bathroom for nothing.”

“N-no! You did! I still want to leave!” Keith jumped, grabbing for Lance’s shirt.

“Right, then come here,” Lance chuckled and took off his jacket.

Keith stepped forward and Lance threw his sweater over him and put the hood on Keith. Then he brought Keith’s face to the crook of his neck.

“I hope you can walk like this, because I'm pretty sure the is the only way you’re walking out unnoticed.”

Keith groaned in agreement.

-

**_[10:38:04 AM] Winner of the Universe™ to - > Rover One_ **

Winner of the Universe™: Thanks Pidgey-poo

Rover One: Don't thank me! Thank the living room that needs to be cleaned!  
Rover One: :)))))))

Winner of the Universe™: Still worth it

  
**_[11:03:49 AM] Hunkin' Donuts to - > “There’s a Spide”_ **

Hunkin' Donuts: OwO  
Hunkin' Donuts: _What's this?_

Winner of the Universe™: Hunk no

Hunkin' Donuts: :3c  
Hunkin' Donuts: _Trouble in paradise?_

Nigel Cornberry: I didn't know paradise was a female’s bathroom.

Space Wine Mom: _Oh_  
Space Wine Mom: _It can be_

Rover One: Don't knock it til you try it my man

Hunkin' Donuts: Did Sir Lancelot save his dear prince from the evil gatekeepers of the bathroom?

Winner of the Universe™: **SIR LANCELOT!!!!**

_**Winner of the Universe™** changed their name to **Sir Lancelot™**_

Mothman's Boyfriend: That sounds… Like an intriguing story.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: If only it was.

Hunkin' Donuts: _Soooooooooo_  
Hunkin' Donuts: Spill  
Hunkin' Donuts: My soaps aren't on for another 3 hours, tell me about this drama™  
Hunkin' Donuts: Lance and Pidge’s diaries aren't interesting anymore I need more drama

Rover One: YOU READ OUR DIARIES????

Sir Lancelot™: Oh I’m so fucked u read our diaries???

Hunkin' Donuts: Not the time to change the topic  
Hunkin' Donuts: Deets

Sir Lancelot™: Ur literally a housewife  
Sir Lancelot™: I love u  
Sir Lancelot™: But **stop** reading my diary

Hunkin' Donuts: Same  
Hunkin' Donuts: But that isn't gonna get you out of telling me what happened or make me stop

Space Wine Mom: I totally agree tell us the details

Nigel Cornberry: Me, as well, to be honest.

Sir Lancelot™: I got this  
Sir Lancelot™: So I walked in and plot twist: The ladies were giving Keith beauty tips and were telling him his mullet was so 80s aesthetic and that they were so getting a Billy Ray Cyrus vibe from him  
Sir Lancelot™: And when he saw me he ran out like an embarrassed tsundere schoolgirl  
Sir Lancelot™: Leavin me alone with some fine looking ladies

Mothman's Boyfriend: That _so_ didn't happen.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: Literally, nothing like that.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: So save yourself the rest of your fib. Typing that is and was a waste of time.

Rover One: OHHHHHHHHHH **SHIT**

Sir Lancelot™: Fine  
Sir Lancelot™: Tell the _boring, real version_ of the story

Mothman's Boyfriend: Lance came in, asked the women to leave, and put his coat over me so I could walk out unnoticed  
Mothman's Boyfriend: As simple as that

Space Dad™: Nothing _else_ happened?

Space Wine Mom: Come on now  
Space Wine Mom: Tell us _everything_

Mothman's Boyfriend: That's it, that's all.

Sir Lancelot™: **WE HAD A BONDING MOMENT™**  
Sir Lancelot™: **I CRADLED YOU IN MY ARMS**

Mothman's Boyfriend: Oh, so **_now_** you wanna remember bonding moments?  
Mothman's Boyfriend: No, no we didn't.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: You must've been high off perfume fumes.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: I don't recall.

Sir Lancelot™: OH MY GOD I FORGOT **ONE** TIME KEITH

Mothman's Boyfriend: I don't wanna hear it, you forgetful asshole. Talking about some _bonding moment_ you **forgot** and only admit it when it's in your favour... Like, shut the fuck up.

Hunkin' Donuts: _The jealousy_  
Hunkin' Donuts: _The betrayal_  
Hunkin' Donuts: Just as good as my shows  
Hunkin' Donuts: Is that _all?_

Mothman's Boyfriend: Ew, jealousy?  
Mothman's Boyfriend: In my life?  
Mothman's Boyfriend: _I think not_

Space Wine Mom: _Sure Jan_

Nigel Cornberry: I definitely didn't get that vibe off what I read from earlier.

Mothman's Boyfriend: EVEN CORAN IS SASSING ME WHAT IS THIS?!

Hunkin' Donuts: I feel there's more to this…

Winner of the Universe™: I promise that's all that happened lol

Hunkin' Donuts: You swear on your mom’s life?

Winner of the Universe™: Yeah Hunky boo

Hunkin' Donuts: HM…  
Hunkin' Donuts: Fine, okay

  
**[11:38:02 AM] Winner of the Universe™ to - > Mothman's Boyfriend**

Sir Lancelot™: I just swore on my mom’s life over a lie and I can already feel her disappointment

Mothman's Boyfriend: You swore, not me.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: I don't even have a mom’s life to swear it on.

Sir Lancelot™: Babe…  
Sir Lancelot™: Come on now  
Sir Lancelot™: u can't just say that like it's some everyday and common thing to joke about

Mothman's Boyfriend: Um, yeah I can.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: I just did.  
  
Sir Lancelot™: If you weren't in class rn I'd find you and hug you

Mothman's Boyfriend: P sure you've done that already today.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: Don't push it.

Sir Lancelot™: FIIIIIIINE  
Sir Lancelot™: Btw had the mail run before u left ur house this morning

Mothman's Boyfriend: Idk.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: No?

Sir Lancelot™: UGHHHH WHEN IS IT GONNA SEND  
Sir Lancelot™: WE LITERALLY LIVE ON THE SAME CAMPUS HOW COULD IT TAKE SO LONG

Mothman's Boyfriend: What's the rush?

Sir Lancelot™: Its just v v important

Mothman's Boyfriend: Well I'll see when I get home

Sir Lancelot™: Let me know  
Sir Lancelot™: I wanna be there when you open it

Mothman's Boyfriend: Sure.  
Mothman's Boyfriend: If it comes.

Sir Lancelot™: **WHEN** IT COMES  
Sir Lancelot™: **WHEN**

Mothman's Boyfriend: Well if it's not here now, it's arrival is questionable.

Sir Lancelot™: **DON’T JINX IT SOSKDJWJQNQJSODPDKWMWMQKA**

Mothman's Boyfriend: Jk jk  
Mothman's Boyfriend: I've got work after this class but I'll let you know if it's there later when I get home

Sir Lancelot™: Alrighty thatll have to do

Mothman's Boyfriend: Talk to you later I Gotta pay attention to class  
Mothman's Boyfriend: Bye

Sir Lancelot™: Bye! Have fun!  
Sir Lancelot™: Love you!

Mothman's Boyfriend: I’M JUST SAYING BYE I'M NOT TRYING TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK IN CLASS LANCE!

Sir Lancelot™: Hehe I wish I could see ur face rn

Mothman's Boyfriend: Ugh  
Mothman's Boyfriend: Bye  
Mothman's Boyfriend: Love you, too…

Sir Lancelot™: AW YIS

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the bathroom and coffee thing actually happened to my friends, I only made it v v gay for Klance's sake, no friends were needed to be rescued in the remember acme of the events. Also, I'm lowkey Hunk tbh.


	9. He Remembered???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small ch of just fluff, really

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized I left you all on a hanger on what Lance got Keith, so here we go

**_[1:38:03 PM] Mothman's Boyfriend to - > Sir Lancelot™_ **

 

Mothman's Boyfriend: So, like, how fast can you be at my house?

 

Sir Lancelot™: Legally?

 

Mothman's Boyfriend: Preferably??????

 

Sir Lancelot™: K

Sir Lancelot™: Um 15 mins top?

Sir Lancelot™: Whas up

 

Mothman's Boyfriend: What’s up is you better be herein 15 minutes or I’m opening up this package by myself.

 

Sir Lancelot™: LKLAODIJF;OAIJDA;OV;S

 

Mothman's Boyfriend: Lance?

Mothman's Boyfriend: Lance, you there?

 

-

 

It was barely 10 minutes before Keith got a bang on his door, then, followed by incessant quick knocks. He went to the door and there stood Lance, out of breathe, kneeling down trying to catch it. 

 

“HA-” Lance began but had to take a deep breathe before continuing, “10 minutes!”

 

“It wasn’t a competition,” Keith sneered.

 

“Everything’s a competition with you, babe,” he winked, still out of breathe and helped himself into the house. “So where’s the box? It really finally came in?”

 

“Yeah it’s on the table, I’ve been waiting for you to open it, like you asked,” Keith replied before shutting the door and going to sit down in front of the box and pulled out his pocket knife.

 

“Damn, Keith, so that was a knife in your pocket. Here I thought you were happy to see me,” Lance chuckled.

 

Keith simply pointed the knife at him and when Lance finally sat down across the table from him, he’d began to open the box.

 

“It’s like you didn’t put enough tape on it. Jesus, Lance,” Keith complained as he finally got it open, prompting him to stop talking all together. In the box contained a letter (as Lance said he’d sent) and a black jewelry box. Which, for the record, confused Keith since he wasn’t one for jewelry, or any accessory for that matter.

 

“Open it!” Lance squealed happily, putting a hand over his mouth and leaning onto the table towards Keith. Whatever was in the box obviously had Lance excited.

 

“Fine,” he answered, rolling his eyes before picking up the letter which Lance leaned over farther to swat out of his hands.

 

“No, the other thing!”

 

“Why didn’t you just say so,” he scoffed, reaching for the black box. It was pretty light considering it’s size, which only led to more confusion on what it could hold.

 

“C’mon! I’m at the edge of my seat here!” Both literally and metaphorically.

 

Keith slowly opened it to peek on what was inside. What was in it shocked him further, causing him to shut it back closed. “Y-you…” he started but couldn’t quite get the words out.

 

Lance cheerfully nodded. “I?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.

 

“You remembered?” Keith finally got out, wide eyes peering to Lance.

 

“Of course I did,” Lance smiled reaching into his pocket and pulling out a smaller looking box. He opened it and showed it to Keith, “And I’ve got the other half!”

 

“Y-you… I… Lance-” Keith stuttered, unable to process what was happening. In both boxes laid two halves of a necklace. A a sapphire and ruby ying and yang. When he’d first saw it, him and Lance had been on their second date out in the next city at a jewelry shop. He’d ‘joked’ at the time how cliche it would be if they both had one of them and obviously Lance was paying attention to the way he’d talked about them because there they were. Right in front of him.

 

“Happy 2 month, Keith,” Lance chortled as Keith opened the box and stared at his half of the necklace.

 

“No shit,” Keith mumbled as he stared wide-eyed at the necklace. “Lance, this wasn’t cheap. I don’t even have anything to-”

 

He stopped rambling as Lance stood up and walked to in front of him. “Sh,” he whispered as he placed a finger over his mouth and leaned down, softly smiling at him. “I didn’t really need you to get me anything. The fact that you’re still here is enough.”

 

Keith simply sputtered in response, because boy was that cliche but it was probably one of the sweetest things anyone’s ever said to him. He’d be lying if he said he hated it. 

 

Now, Lance was reaching for the box and pulled out the necklace and putting it on him. He  _ really _ didn’t know how to act as Lance pulled back and looked him up and down. “Just as lovely as the day we met,” the brown haired boy finally said.

 

“Lance, you literally only insulted me the first time we met,” he frowned.

 

Lance let out a tiny chuckled and rubbed the back of his head, “Yeah, I did, but I mean isn’t that the romantic thing to say at a time like this?”

 

Keith shrugged and he stood up. “Well, I don’t have a present, but I’m pretty sure I  _ can _ figure out something to give you,” he suggested, winking.

 

“Oh my god, Keith! Are you flirting with me?!” Lance laughed.

 

“Yes, is it working?”

 

“I don’t know. Come closer and figure out-”

 

“ _ Maooooooooooow _ ” came a long, and dragged out meow from the door of the apartment.

 

Both boys groaned. “Okay, maybe after I take my child out for a walk,” Keith sighed.

 

“I’ll be here waiting, Mullet,” Lance smiled and lightly pinched his boyfriend’s cheek. “Hurry back, honey, before I start by myself,” he whispered and made his way to Keith’s bedroom.

 

“LET’S GET GOING RED,” Keith quickly yelled and hurried on his way.

 

 

\--------

 

 

**_[7:28:49 PM] Rover One to - > “Sucking Wind”_ **

 

 

Rover One: So are we hanging out soon or what

 

Nigel Cornberry: Well I can always reserve a table if you all want

 

Sir Lancelot™: Can’t tonite

Sir Lancelot™: Busy   
Sir Lancelot™: V busy

 

Space Dad™: Studying I hope?

 

Sir Lancelot™: HA

 

Rover One: HAHAHAHDOIFJALIDJLA;IDJFVAHAHAHAHA

Rover One: Choked there for a second

 

Mothman's Boyfriend:HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Mothman's Boyfriend: No he’s not studying, Shiro. 

Mothman's Boyfriend: Who do you take him for?

 

Space Dad™: I’m not sure what I was expecting

Space Dad™: I guess you’re right

 

Rover One: But still, plans

Rover One: We need to make them

 

Mothman's Boyfriend: Me and Lance can do it tomorrow night?

 

Rover One:  _ I bet you could, but not the point here _

 

Mothman's Boyfriend: 1) Fuck you.

Mothman's Boyfriend: 2) Fuck you.

 

Nigel Cornberry: I can help Allura close early so that’s fine with me

 

Space Dad™: Same

Space Dad™: Maybe I can bring Matt along

 

Rover One: HE’S BACK IN TOWN??????

 

Space Dad™: Um yeah

 

Rover One: THat little fucker

 

Space Dad™: Anyways, so tomorrow?

 

Mothman's Boyfriend: Sure

 

Sir Lancelot™: Works for me

 

Rover One: Same

 

Nigel Cornberry: Alright I’ll go make the reservations!

 

Sir Lancelot™: THX CORAN WE LOVE YOU

 

Nigel Cornberry: Of course, my boy.

 

Rover One: I thought he was Keith’s

 

Mothman's Boyfriend: JFC, PIDGE.

 

Sir Lancelot™: LMFAOOOOOO

Sir Lancelot™: Alright well ill let Hunky bear no when he gets his texts

Sir Lancelot™: Maybe I can get Shay to come, too

 

Rover One: NICE

Rover One: I keep meaning to meet her

 

Mothman's Boyfriend: Same.

Mothman's Boyfriend: I always see Rax but she’s like an illusive woman who keeps avoiding me.

 

Rover One: Relatable

 

Space Dad™: Alright kids settle down

Space Dad™: Let me tell you though

Space Dad™: She’s an angel and v sweet

Space Dad™: She makes very good cupcakes

 

Sir Lancelot™: OMG REALLY THO

Sir Lancelot™: I love her chocolate ones!!!!

 

Mothman's Boyfriend: WTF.

Mothman's Boyfriend: She’s given you both cupcakes but not met me once?????

Mothman's Boyfriend: Unacceptable.

Mothman's Boyfriend: I demand she come to dinner tomorrow.

 

Sir Lancelot™: Your wish is my command, i shall try my hardest

 

Rover One: G A Y

 

Mothman's Boyfriend: Pidge…

 

Rover One: ?

 

Mothman's Boyfriend: Shut the fuck up.

 

Rover One: Idk what I was expecting    
Rover One: I guess I deserved that

**Author's Note:**

> Did you enjoy it? It's loosely based off my life and my friends' lives. Have fun depicting what is and what isn't!
> 
>  
> 
> My tumblr: Acequisitor
> 
> You can send me prompts you want to see on here or just tell me in the comment if you feel you want to see something happen!!! Leave a comment if you feel the need to! (I constantly seek validation! :D)


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